Separation anxiety in horses is definitely a topic that strikes a chord with some of you.
Many of you are familiar with the problem Lara commented on last time.
But it seems there’s a horse whisperer in all of us! Thanks to Sharon for this mail:
“My mare (7 yo thoroughbred) and gelding (20+ standardbred) and inseprable also. My aim is to get them thinkinging I’m the boss, so that they are happy to be with me alone out of the paddock as well as together in. So heirachy of me, him then her (which is what I’ve observed at feed time).
Separation anxiety in horses
So… starting yesterday thanks to Lara’s words and this site’s suggestions; 15 min each out of the paddock, mostly within site lines, some times walking behind the sheds so they couldn’t see each other.
Then some ‘nose time’ over a safe gate, then separate again.
The whole time I was gently easing their heads towards me to hold their attention, lots of carrots and talk, talk, talk. Trying to use ‘whoa’ for stop and ‘walk on’ for go or follow.
It was AMAZING to see my 7 yo respond to my body language when I slowed my pace and ‘softened’ my body next to her… I was so pleased for both of us.
Separation anxiety in horses
I have no illusions I’m going to be able to ride out alone next week, but baby steps until I gain their attention and trust is fine. We have the time and the patience! Good luck to everyone!
PS – I’m a novice horse owner. These two are the first horses I have ever owned, I’m 38 and although I have been riding most of my life I’ve never had their lives and well being depend on me. Thanks Al for a great site full of enthusiastic and horse-loving humans. Oh, and my horses thank you too!
Sharon”
A big thanks to Sharon for sharing her story on separation anxiety in horses – please do comment below if you can add to it.
And don’t forget, there are hundreds of posts like this on the blog, but the only way you can see them all is by jumping on the newsletter.
Best
Sharon’s tips have hit an accord with my friend and i, we too have become horse owners for the first time and yes we bought two horses that had been paddocked together for years off a farmer,one a nine yr old the other ten yr.As my friend is leaving near christmas to move down to her farm we too are going through the process that Sharon has discribed with reasonable success.The mare [9 yr] we have dicovered has quite an attitude and is all to ready to kick out with her hind quarters to any unwary person and my horse we dont seem to be able to get this under control and as we are novices would appreciate any comments we can get to further our knowledgeon horses and yes we fully intend to buy the horse whisperer book when we finish paying off our vet bills. 🙄
I have recently had to seperate my two horses. One went back to the previous owner and they have been together for 4 years. I have never experienced such trauma in all my life. I thought my old guy was going to have a heart attack. I have not had much to do with horses and am a bit frightened but each day I have just spent more time with the old guy and he is loves his cuddles and attention. I have moved him to a paddock where he sees lots of other horses and he has settled down really well and only after a week. I am not sure if I should get him another friend or not but would be interested in any advice I can get.
Julie
Get him a goat, not another horse. It will make it easier on you no buddy sore issues.
As much as it can be trouble to have two horses that are “inseparable”, I think it is worse to have just one horse by himself, especially if he is used to having a pasture buddy. I have discovered that my mustang mare (who we’ve had for only 2 months) goes crazy when I ride my Thoroughbred in the pasture next to hers. She runs up and down the fence calling to him. BUT, yesterday was the first time I’ve been able to ride him since May due to a strained ligament, I lunged him first with his saddle on in the pasture next to her and he paid total attention to me and totally ignored her. Even when I got on him, he didn’t try to go to her, and listened to everything I asked him to do. Horses are pack animals, and to have your horse by himself after having a “buddy” for 4 years is cruel to him, especially if you can’t spend a lot of time with him. It can be worked out-I’m going to move my mare to the pasture behind the barn so that she can’t see him when we go riding. We have a trail into the state forest directly across from our property, and a group of locals ride a lot. Next time they go riding, we’re going to go with him. As much as I’d like to take her with us, my husband is just now learning to ride and she spooks easily, so she has to learn to be without him. Baby steps-it CAN work.
I love and adore horses,and would LOVE to spend the rest of my life with them,but never could. My eldest daughter and fam moved out of the city to a farm a month ago. there they met a farmer who rescue abused horses and husky dogs. He found one day a horse that was totally covered with flies that eat dead animals and found that the horse is still alive,he took him home and had verious people that worked with him. He has NO love or regard for humans,so i went with my daghter to see him. I took an apple with me and gave it to him…he ate it. I tried to touch him but he did not respond to me. Then I started to sing to him and he jirk his head up with shock and looked at me until I finished. He pushed his whole head and neck through the bbobwire past my legs and ate the grass next to me. Do you think that he like me???? I will like that very much.
Hi Jane, I’ve found that most horses do respond favorably to singing and even a radio in the barn. I’d have to say, yes. That the horse you mention, liked the singing very much and therefore likes you too!
Horses are herd animals and suffer when alone.
I had a horse for 30 yrs and we were best friends.If you only have one horse, just like a dog, they make more loving and loyal pets.They don’t suffer if alone when you spend a lot of time with them.I now have a young colt who was left with me after being with his mother and a herd, and with my kind, gentle attention he is happy being with me.
I Have a 24 year old horse that I have had for almost a year. I care for her every day and ride her for short periods, at least, weekly. Even in the winter. I am about to buy another horse and wonder how this will go. Not sure about the process. There is little grass o the ground and they will have to share the hay. The new horse is at the bottom of the pecking order in her herd. Mine has been the only one for quite a while. What do you think?
Just a guess, not knowing your horse, but I’d have to say, your horse is going to appreciate the companion. They love their human caretakers when they’re kind and loving with them. But horses are herd animals by nature and need like companions to maintain their maximum physical and mental health. Good Luck with the introduction of the new addition.
I get absolutely furious when I see a horse standing on its own. no company not even a sheep. its just not right. I so often see people keeping there stallion all on its own where there is no movement of people, animals or other horses. it breaks my heart to see this. They are desperate for attention and love…..and just someone to talk to.
I have two horses, both mares. My one mare is a rescue and I did not know much about her. A few years ago she got out and was caught up in a barb wire fence. Since that time she will pace until she is tired. She always paces facing north. I have had her by her self and with my other mare. She paces if my other mare is there or not. Both mares freak out if left by them selves. I like the idea of taking one out for a walk for 15 min.
Does anyone have any idea what I can do to stop my mare from pacing?
Read an article not long ago that horses that crib, weave, or pace as you say your horse is doing, isn’t always out of a habit they develop. Vets doing studies recently have come to believe this is most often due to some neurological imbalance. Possibly this is what is going on with your horse. If so, you’ll likely just have to live with her pacing, as the Vets in the study I’d read, had no answers as to what, if anything can be done to stop these annoying habits some horses acquire.
We have pasture mate issues as well. My daughters mare is the dominate one and bonded well with my grandsons pony. My daughter purchased another pony, (they barrel race). These 2 horses teamed up on the new pony and was so ugly to her. She sold pony #1 and now the mare & new pony mare are inseperable. They whinney if the other leaves & run up & down the fence & the same at horse shows. The mare calls the pony & the pony calls for the mare (even in the arena). We’ve got to try something, but she doesn’t have a way to separate them. Any suggestions?
Hi To every one I hated to do what I did, but I got some oralx to try and calm down Spirit my Appaloosa it says its show calf 2 but also used for horses couldn’t get no one to help me get the halter off. That’s to small then today I did something else very stupid. Hope I did not make a bad mistake.I bought a 2 year old quarter horse for $25.00 pureblood broke a sweet heart. Hoping if Spirit see’s her and isn’t by him self he may calm down some when he see’s me loving brushing bathing walking her and all that good stuff he may come around some when he see’s she is not being hurt,hoping he will get interested in what is happening Did I mess up and make things worse??
I am a first time horse owner at 50+
my welsh cross came to me at nearly 3 years old and we have made lots of mistakes together – asking too much too soon etc. so we went back to ground work with some help from an experienced friend. all was going really well and he was listening to me and trying hard to do everything i asked him. then suddenly he has strated to pull away from me when being untacked after a ride and yesterday refused to be caught even shoulder barging me over and knocking me flying in the yard, kicking out at me as he went past! What have I done wrong? how can i gain his respect?
I was thrown really badly by an Arab/Boerperd cross that had the same issues – they are very dangerous to ride while they are like that.
I had a huge success with a mare that had the same issues. She would go crazy when separated, squeal, pull out of hour hands & bolt for home. Initially, I would ride one of the other horses and lead her from the other horse every time I rode. Then I started taking just her for a walk, me on foot, bridle not halter, to have better control every day. Or say 2-3 times a week. She suddenly stopped having an issue with it & has been fine ever since.
Thanks Alistair for all the useful hints. And thanks to all those who send them in. It’s great. I haven’t got my own horse at the moment but I do have the room for one and the ability to maintain their upkeep, just not the finances to purchase one. Have heard of rescue horses. I’m after a black 16-17 hand gelding no older than 10 so that I can have him for a long time. I have owned horses previously and very much believe in the soft approach. thankyou again, I have all the hints in a special folder named horses. 🙂
thanks Lara for getting it out there that the natural way is the best. You cant go wrong with the way Lara is helping you all and the horses will teach you even more.
Keep up the good work Lara
🙄 Good day i stau in South Africa an love youre webside thanks. I need to know how to start teaching a horse how to show can any one give me advice. Then i also have a rescue TB marewho is very under weight. I feed her propper food an she have lots of pasture to eat. What can i give here to help her gain weight. heard molasse Meel?
I am a first time horse owner at 60+. Boarded until last year when I bought a little farm & moved my horse to it. Because I’m doing total care, my horse has really bonded to me. At this time he is only horse, but I am planning for another, which leaves me wondering if our bond will be as strong as it is now.
I have recently been giving 2 amazing horses. Both broke to ride. One is a gelding about 9yrs, a big pocket puppy (15.3) and the other one is a mare about 14yrs also a pocket puppy but little (14.2)and blind in one eye. The gelding is vary dominent and sometimes try to chase and nip at the mare when she comes to me for attention. I am an inexperienced owner and am not sure what to do. If I take the mare out, he paces and whinnys at the gate and she wants to go back to him but if I have a friend tending to her and me tending to him they are both fine. Hes fine out by himself but she does the same thing as he does, pacing and whinnying. Its hard to work both of them by myself unless I groom them together in the pasture and ride only him. Does anyone have any advise?
😀 I am a new owner too!I am a 57 year old retired nurse. My Gelding is a 2 1/2 year old Clydesdale. His name is Scottie and he was a rescue horse from Barrie. I have had him since the end of May 30/13. I have had 6 lessons in my life. I will be training him from the ground for the next couple of months as clydesdale are slow in maturing their bones
Hi Christine:
Clydesdale usually are not ridden until 3, so give him time, work on groundwork, and don’t push his young bones for a little while longer. The more the groundwork, the more polite the horse anyway! 🙂 and give him play time! get a ball, or something to be a fun plaything and let him have tons of play time with you! Then he will learn to love seeing u come to the corral with halter in hand! 🙂 all animals love play time 🙂
Allan
I have a similar problem but it’s my donkey stud who can’t stand it when I take my gelding horse, correction, “HIS” horse out to work with. And he can be an interference when working with my mustang inside the pasture. There is some jealousy there on both their parts. Each one wants the individual attention. Donkey is a real Houdini when it comes to getting his way and he doesn’t want to be without his mustang. He will bray and head butt the gate, etc. Any ideas? Also, has anyone tried to lounge a donkey? I know I need to do groundwork with him, but he has to stop and think about everything asked of him.
Hester, the first thing I would do for your thorobred is to have the vet check his teeth and check him for parasites (worms). If his teeth have developed sharp edges it may be too painful for him to eat and grind the food properly. Look at his stool and see if you see a lot of whole pieces of grain in it. That is a sure sign he is not chewing his food properly. Both conditions can lead to weight loss.
Hi all my name is Kim. About 5 yrs ago a good friend of mine was murdered leaving behind her 3 paint horses. 2 of them are brothers with about a 7-8 yr age difference ( 19yrs old and 26 yrs old)and the 3rd was her late ex husband’s horse who she had taken when he passed away. When she passed away her family had gotten rid of the horses and refused to give any details as to what had happened to them.i searched online through posting ads looking for them for years with no word until just this February of this year. I finally got a response from a wonderful woman named Kristin who had seen my ad and actually was the one the family had given the horses to. All 3 horses had found separate homes. It took about 9 mos to be able to separate them. They boarded them at the same facility in separate stalls next to each other and slowly started moving them further and further apart then they would return back together. It took 9 mos to do it.and even then the 2 brothers showed some signs of depression.she had kept the older brother and the other brother was given to a girl who ended up using him for gym khana and barrel racing and he won the championship last year at the age of 23yrs. Now it just so happened that girl was now re homing him since she was now done with him since he had gotten her what she wanted .. to win.. so I was fortunate to be able to get him back. He is now being boarded at the same facility as his older brother. The day he was moved to that ranch he knew right away that his brother was there. He ran right to him in the arena and immediately they started talking in their horse language and grooming each other. It was so sweet to watch them. So I would agree horses do build strong bonds with each other and they never forget each other either. Back together they are at last, and together they will stay the rest of their lives
Hi,
We obtained two horses, a 5 year old arab/qh gelding and his mother, a club foot qh mare, which could not be riden but we took her so she did not get sold to slaughter. However, Bailey , the gelding, had never been away from mom!
I did exactly what you described. As long as I rode the gelding, I could take him out alone. BUT a lesser rider could not! What could I do to make him comfortable with someone who was not alpha in the herd as he saw me? He had no issue leaving mom, even though she whinnied her head off as we rode off, he did whatever I asked. So, I began by having a novice rider walk him out, when the gelding began dragging her back, I would step out into the path, and stop him with a hand in the air, and telling him WHOA! He would stop., I would stroke his nose, which he loved and carrot treat him. Doing this multiple days, multiple times a day, eventually he allowed anyone to ride him away. And mom died sadly when she was 23, and he now could care less who is in the corral, the mares I own now beat him up anyway, so he is grateful for time away from them bully females! LOL
Al, good luck, keep trying., that is soo important, because it doesnt seem to work quickly, do not give up!!! Persistance with horses is a vital attribute!
I have a 3yr old stallion which can not be gelded,
(i know – don’t say it.) I found this out when I had the first horse – my first very first horse, brought when he was still in the womb –
I had him gelded at 2yr and they had to put him down an hour later – heartbroken and feeling guilty and devastated – I was given his little brother who was 4mos and then was told the older, older brother also died from gelding. The vet suggested that I not geld this one. So he has been trained from day one. HE is a curly horse, very obedient, loving, smart, faily calm, likes to
learn words, just a wonderful horse – all the neighbors love him. But I know he is a stallion and that makes me a bit cautious (which to me is smarter) I recently was giving a beautiful bombproof 14yr quarter horse – he is like a dream horse, such a blessing to have him. well him and my horse seem to get along until I walk up and then they start sparing – of course I give my attention first -and the minute I do that he looks at the quarter horse like “see she loves me more” laugh. But I have a hard time taking the quarter horse out cause my horse throws a whinny tantrum and because he is a stallion I don’t want to overly upset him. HE has a pony buddy that has been with him since the day he was born. and when my horse goes out with the trainer he is just happy as a jaybird and the other horses stay quite. I think with him it may be a herd thing.
just a note to first time owners – curly horses are probably one of the calmest, smartest and easiest horses to train – I am talking about American Curlies not the bashir kind. If you don’t mind the fluffy hypoallergic hair – it’s great horse for a first time owner and they are a bittougher than regualar horses too.(off-shoots out of mustangs). Nothing but a gelding could take out my first horse still miss him, but his little bro is just as impressive as he was.
Turns out some horses are not born with an O ring
and if gelded will herniate – there is no saving a
horse that herniates after gelding – It’s a rare thing – but I end up with two rarities, and they both had/have blue eyes – this is not a factor, because the olderst brother who was sold and gelded at 12 months was just a normal brown – so it’s in the genes of the parents. Who are not being bred anymore, sire was gelded and mare was sold by the breeder.
I am 52+, first time horse owner, but volunteered past 5 yrs. at Rocky Mountain Horse Rescue (RMHR). I started in May, 2014 with a Mare and a one-eyed Pony who would whine and run like crazy in the stall each time I took the Mare out to ride. I switched the Pony for a Mini through RMHR and although the Mini whines a little as I’m leaving with the Mare, it is not as loud and she can stand to run around alittle as she’s over weight. The Mare whines a few times as we leave the stall to go across the street the ride, but the more I take her out and separate them, the better she bonds with me. I hear a goat is a good companion too. Less work and less trouble dealing with two horses no matter what size they are. My Mare is also eating a lot but always looks skinny in the ribs, so I’m just now giving her Equipride Minerals because she’s a senior now.
Hi everyone I’ve got a tb her name is ezy xracer I also at the ripe old age of 60 she is my first horse I’ve been riding for most of my life and I have a back problem so I have been doing exercises to build up my mussels so that I can ride again and thanks to the back Institute in America they have helped me achieve this now I’m ready to ride her I’m so excited about this I have been following your advice and I want to thank you and everyone its a great web sitekindest regards jeanette from Australia
hello my name is Michael I live in northern Quebec Canada I had a similar problem owning three different horses to standardbreds and a thoroughbred I try to ride everyday when the weather permits but over the winter it is a little bit difficult so when did you get a chance to ride I only can take out one horse at a time so the two other horses freak out and run up and down the fence line wanting to follow now it’s gotten to a point that the horse to see what settle I have in my hands and they know who is coming out and soon as they figure that out the two other horses are aggressive between each other I think it’s because of jealousy so sometimes I will ride one and pony another beside me seems to help
flight to ask everybody’s opinion on what age should you start breaking in your horse I am located in northern Quebec Canada and a lot of people here breaking news horses at 2 year old and some people wait to 4 years old I would appreciate your comments sincerely Mike by the way I think it’s great to talk to people all over the world with horses it doesn’t matter if you live in South Africa Canada or the United States how Europe horses are all the same wherever you are