I got this tip in from Don on establishing leadership with your horse, which I thought was great.
Don also has a really interesting tale to tell. But here’s the tip, which appears right at the end of his tale:
“One lesson I learned is when going to get him, because most of the horses out there will come up to you while walking through the pasture, let them approach you, but before you walk away, back them up and never walk around them.
This does several things, one of them establishing leadership with horse. If the horse that approached you is above your horse in the herd, your horse will see this and allow you to be his leader.
If the horse is below your horse in the herd, and your horse sees you walk around him, or sees you yield to him in any way, your horse won’t allow you to lead him. There is no such thing as a stubborn horse, just one that won’t allow you to take on a role of leadership.”
Brilliant!
All of Don’s tale below.
“I have been asked to expand on my first email on establishing leadership with your horse, I don’t know how to explain unless you know where I come from in the Equine world.
I first started riding in my teenage years, western style, I never had any formal lessons, I mostly rode western saddle and even drove a team of Belgian Draft horses pulling a covered wagon. We would go on summer camps for a week at a time 4 wagons and 25 to 30 saddle horses, 2 teens per saddle horse, you were responsible for grooming your horse, saddling bridling and catching your horse in the morning. Your horses needed to be groomed in the morning before you got any breakfast, and then saddled up and ready to go before 9:00 am, we rode in 1 hour shifts and broke at lunch for 1/2 hour, then rode till 4:00 to 5:00 pm and then set up camp.
In my 20’s my brother married into a family that own 4 to 6 horses at any given time and nobody took care of them. My brother started going to check on them 1 to 2 times a week and ended up being the sole caregiver to these horses.
Twice a year he needed help getting them from winter pasture to summer pasture and vise verse. They were never trailer ed so we rode them the 4 to 5 hours twice a year.
The last time I rode his horses we were about 1 KM away from home and my horse took off, he stumbled and my right foot went through the stirrup but I fell off the left side of the horse. My right foot being hung up in the stirrup the back of my right knee was on top of the saddle, my left foot was dragging and I was hanging on to the horses neck. At a lope the horse stepped on my left calf and literally ripped me off his back. No broken bones but lots of road rash, needless to say when ever I was invited to ride I turned it down.
15 years later my son and daughter were invited to a birthday party at a riding stable, my wife and I took them and they had a blast.
The first thing I noticed they all rode bareback, I asked why and was told you can have a better connection with your horse. The next thing I noticed was some people were riding with halters only, and I never saw a bridle with a bit.
We started riding lessons because of my son who was diagnosed with Aspergers syndrome and being around the horses has a calming effect, and being able to connect with a horse has helped him trust people. My wife and him started lessons first, then my daughter and I followed.
New riders go out with a co-pilot who leads the horse with a lead shank while the rider learns how to control the horse. Eventually the rider rides with their co-pilot on separate horses and is coached until they can ride on their own. Not only are you taught riding but also grooming, foot care, and ground work.
I would recommend anyone who would like to learn bit less riding that they do it in a controlled way. Team up with fellow riders at your stable, have someone lead your horse while you ride.
One book that I can highly recommend is Zen Horse Zen Mind, and any articles buy Josh Nichol, or Nettie Barr. Establishing leadership with your horse is key.
When I started lessons I was riding a very well trained horse, and after a year I was looking for more of a challenge. The owner of the stable had a horse returned to her because things were not working out with his owner, and because of this he wasn’t being ridden, or being worked with for about a year. Let the fun begin, this horse is second from the top of the herd, and now I think he has moved up to the herd leader.
The biggest factor I have found is the bond between you and the horse, I was asked to take care of this horse for 4 weeks as the owner of the stable went on vacation.
Everyday I came out and brought him in for his rations, groomed him, and took care of his feet. Because of the mild winter and his feet not being cleaned properly he came down with a severe case of thrush, so every day I sprayed his feet with organic apple cider vinegar and tea tree oil, after cleaning them.
After 2 weeks I could go out into the pasture walk to within 50 feet of him, call his name, hold up his halter and walk back to the tie up area, he would follow me in, and after teaching him to lead up properly he would follow 3 feet behind me.
One lesson I learned is when going to get him, because most of the horses out there will come up to you while walking through the pasture, let them approach you, but before you walk away, back them up and never walk around them. This does several things, if the horse that approached you is above your horse in the herd, your horse will see this and allow you to be his leader. If the horse is below your horse in the herd, and your horse sees you walk around him, or sees you yield to him in any way, your horse won’t allow you to lead him. This is what establishing leadership with your horse is all about. There is no such thing as a stubborn horse, just one that won’t allow you to take on a role of leadership.
Don”
A huge big thank you to Don – a fantastic post on establishing leadership with your horse.
I’d really, really like to hear your comments on this one.
That’s all this time. Please do keep ’em coming and don’t forget there are hundreds of posts on the blog, but the only way you can see them all is through the newsletter.
Best
And now onto Jack.
“Establishing leadership with your horse is all about building trust and showing them you’re a confident, fair guide. Horses naturally look for a leader in their herd, so when you step into that role, you’re creating a bond where they feel safe and willing to listen to you. But leadership with horses doesn’t mean bossing them around—think of it more as earning their respect.”
“The key is consistency. Horses respond well when you’re clear and steady in your cues. If you ask them to stop, lead, or move over, do it calmly and confidently, and follow through each time. And remember, they’re super quick at reading body language! Standing tall and moving with purpose signals to your horse that you’re in charge (even if you’re still learning as you go).”
“Spending time together on the ground also helps. Groundwork exercises, like leading or asking them to move back, show your horse that you’re both the leader and a safe, positive presence. The more you work together, the more they’ll trust you and look to you for guidance. It’s like being a team leader and best friend all rolled into one—when they trust your leadership, the whole riding experience becomes more relaxed and fun! Jack”
Next up
😀
The head of the herd who the other hroses follow in regards to damger (real or assumed) is not necessarily the leader in other situations. For exmple the head of my small herd (4) is the most nervous when it comes to interacting with people. He has gained confidence by watching me work with the most confident in the herd and never tries to push forward during these training sessions. In fact if he sees me place something on the back of the most confident horse, he is less reticent for me to do the same with him. During these times leadership temporarily shifts; in other words it becomes situation-specific. Moreover from what I have observed generally, there tends to a great deal of mutual respect amongst a herd of happy, contented horses.
I am not sure you are interpreting your horses reactions correctly,I think what you are seeing is your less confident horse is more comfortable as long as he is with another horse or horses nearby. If you have ever had the privilege of watching some of the big ranches start a group of young horses you will better understand that it is easier to work a single horse in a group, than work one by themselves without the comfort of another horse nearby. Hope this helps.
I would like to give you the following – which is true.
I worked 14 polo ponies on a rural Property, Australia, of which the owner was a top Polo Player (he is now the Manager of the Young English Polo Team – Rodney Cudmore – and you can ask him yourself if this is true!-
Our practice was fit up the horses by riding them walk, trot and canter a 12km track, sometimes broken up with dressage or stock work, or stick and ball. The 14 main horses were in small paddocks of about 1 eighth acre overnight, 2 to a paddock..
The practice was I would get 3 or three, groom, work, hose off, check for injuries etc., then let go in a 5 acre paddock. Then the next two or three an so on. This I did for weeks (rode every day 48kms before lunch by the time finished!) Then deal with any young ones etc.
I got the shits with having to catch the 14 polo ponies to put them in their respective pair paddocks for the night. Not because they were hard to catch, just a waste of time!
So I would put their feed out (A Grade international Polo Ponies – Lucerne Hay and Oats! TAKE NOTE! – don’t need fancy stuff to feed your horse) and let the 2 pairs in through the gate – 2 at a time.
In 3 days, they would line up in their pairs!
In 3 weeks, I could open the gate and all would go to their own paddock in an orderly manner!~
Anyone says that animals are stupid or dumb – THEY ARE STUPID AND DUMB!
All I had to do was shut the gates!
Who are you DON?
I find these information tought provoking and would like to know more… I have thought about this pecking order thing with seeing a girl who was kinda scared of horses having problems catching her own horse because he was last in the pecking order and she was even below him… When she went to get him and he was standing away from the herd he would easily be catched and was happy enough to follow for the company. But as she walked towards the gate… The other horses moved closer (in case something interesting might be gained… ) SO seing he would not get protection from her at the other horses moved closer he fled as any horse in the herd approched them…
I tried to explain this to her… but she just would’nt get it. Sad…
But I do like the way you explain this and would like to read more!!!
love this I sure will do this from now on.thankyou
Zen Mind Zen Horse is an excellent book even if you do not have a horse….great self help book.
Hi Debbie!
I’d be really interested in getting hold of a copy of Zen Mind Zen Horse but need a few more details. I wondered if you would mind providing me with the following:-
Author’s name;
Year of Print;
ISBN Number.
Thank you so very much in advance for your kind and considerate help.
Best wishes
Penny
Thats very interesting. Thanks Don! I’ll do that.
Strange, my previous horse was the leader of our little herd (3). Taking the lead when they go grazing, or when there’s something dangerous, she’ll go and investigate, etc. But she hated taking the lead when we’re riding..?? Why would that be? The other horse was then forced to go in front, but he was terrible! Jumping at every little thing, haha
Hi there,
My horse will come when I call him no matter where I am I spend a lot of time grooming him talking to him and playing with him in the paddock. I definitely have a bond with him. Now my daughters horse is a very different story. She comes for my daughter but won’t come for me. She is ranked 2nd in the herd after a much older gelding.
I am just curios, I’m trying to bond with my
horse how do you play with them, what kind of games?
These are Great clips you are sending out I have them in a folder on my email to save them Good stuffs:grin:
Always enjoy learning new methods.I own 4 & keep them in seperate paddocks, due to “buddy Sour”, I can’t tolerate that.Thanks for the tip Don, keep’em coming.
Horses need company of their pairs! IT is not necessarily good to keep them apart since it create insecurity and consequently more ‘buddy sourness’
I would like to know how Caliegh keeps her horses from being “buddy sour”. Before I brought my new horse home, I had my husband divide our shelter into 2 stalls and created separate runs, but when I remove one horse they both get anxious. I did the separation thing to try to avoid just this problem.
These 2 horses are mares and have never been pastured together.
they are just going to be used to be separated! Take one out for a ride and gradually extend the ride 5 minutes at a time. Be firm! You are Alpha! Have you got a paddock/field/pasture? If you do – why do you keep the horses separated in boxes all the time?
If you are not training for Shows or Events where there is singular feeding, and only have the horse for Pleasure riding why are you keeping the horses separated anyway?
Get a riding friend to ride with you is another option – tho it will not cure the separation anxiety.
For a horse, security is being in a group. Do not put them in separate areas. Create the bond with your horse and your horse will feel secure with YOU, while you are with him. Let him have his friends when you are not with him!
Thanks Don’ can’t wait to try this!I also love riding bare back.
😛 Thank you~That is a great help. Summer
AWESOME!! 😛
I agree with this method of catching in general, but I don’t think I’d ever ride my horse bareback on a regular basis. No amount of body control will be able to evenly spread your weight out so that your seatbones aren’t poking into the horse’s back. While I agree it can get you a nice ‘bond’ with your horse, bareback riding is best saved for those lazy summer days, riding out on the trails.
Back to the catching method, you shouldn’t have to interact with every horse you pass on the way to yours. It takes a finely-tuned awareness of body language to catch even the most willing horses, and you should be able to properly establish your dominance to your own horse without interacting with the herd.
dear Emily,
You must be extremely skinny, and a little bit ignorant to not be comfortable riding a horse bareback!
I, as a friend of mine, hade to ride bareback, then saddle without stirrups, then stirrups. My friend Paul, could canter his 5 yr stallion around an event, bareback, and on a loose rein.
He was the most natural rider I have ever seen! I could jump 4 ft. bareback with my arms crossed BEHIND my back!
And it gave me good balance.
I am recovering from a broken back from an accident, and I will b riding Bareback to get my balance back!
Emily,
I also several occasions passed through a her of horses to catch an unwilling horse. Guess what! By just casually passing through, give each horse a stroke – would get the unwilling horse!
Good you are on here – but please be open to new ideas.
Emily, you can use a bareback pad. That is what I use. Some of them actually have a lot of padding.
I orwn three horses. And yes, they still have their pecking order. It starts with the youngest to the oldest. The lead horse was left stallion til almost five years of age. So, he pretty much sorted out his dominance right from the ripe age off three years. When I enter their pasture, all three approach me, the lead horse automatically wanting the first of attention. And the last laying back. Most often, I will give them a pat on the neck in the order they approach me. But Ii will then push the two in charge back and allow the last to approach. I turn the other two away no matter how many attempts they make to re-aproach me. I do not allow the last to be pushed back. I give him some sole attention of petting and rubbing plus talking. He came to me a rescue. He was about 300 or more pounds under weight, hoofs to walk in, on souls if feet. On his souls from hoof breakage ando splittng and who knew how long since he had been touched by a farrier. Plus his teeth had to be floated and a coggin and all his vaccines. He received treatment for uveitis and eye infection. He is now picture perfect health. He is however horse sour. Will not ride unless a buddy comes along. He does not have to follow, will take the lead when urged forward with no problem. I would assume this is a problem due to being shuffled from every horse he become removed from. Even though he has a steady envirenment now, there is still the fear of being sent away. He has it the best he has had it for goodness only knows. He has had excellent training in his early years, goes into his running walk and pace gates and walking and stop, reverse like a pro. So yes, I give him some special one on one attention and care to try winning back some if his confidence hoping to eventually bring back his confidence and assurance that he is home and safe. I hope I am going about this in the right way. The vet put his age at around 17 ish. He is a very well bred Tenn. Walker and by his conformation and looks, I would say a very good bloodline. Point: why do people take these horses that and ruin their physical and mental states? It infuriates me seeing any horse abused. If you can’t afford or are always hunting the ” better ” horse instead of taking charge and responsability for the ones you have, then don’t own any at all. You are not the ideal horse owner
Horses are a feeling, soulful, and personality and loving animal that bonds with their owners. They are not just a unfeeling souless creature. Actually they could teach a lot of owners a few things about true compassion and understanding. People that habitually swap and shop horses around could use a few hard core lessons in the fact that your actions also reflect upon the type of person you are. I would not want this person in my life. They have no reguards for any life form. They don’t care that many of horses that sufford them, end up dying from the lack of proper care and not to mention going to slaughter to be killed and sold as a menu of a delecacy! If you are going to be a horse owner, be a responsable one or don’t own one at all. That is the best treatment you have the ability of giving any horse. The only thing you would have to offer any horse, would be how to ruin a horses life! This may sound harsh to some, but if you understand anything about horses at all, you know it is all the truth. Irresponsable horse owners are the problem with the horse neglect and slaughter industry that is going on and also the irresponsability of over breeding and irresponsable breeding. Re-think your actions and methods and meaning of being a horse owner. Nancy
Whoa there ! I am a single Mum that has just lost her job due to injury. But when I broke my back 2 yrs ago, I still took on a miniature 4yr only that was going to be shot. You couldn’t get near him, but now he is a sweetie. Despite that, my pony mare is Alfa! as she is one yr older than him, and she has been with me since she was a yr old!
Horses have to have the Establishment – that is how it goes! It doesn’t meant I treat one horse over the other, I just accept the priority that the herd has that is natural – don’t mess with it!
By giving the lowest in the pecking order extra attention, you are making it worse for him in the paddock!
Leave the extra attention for when you are working with him away from the others.
Thank you for the helpful advice. Do you have any advice on how to deal with an aggressive horse, and selling isn’t an option.
Don a lot of what you say makes since for some horses. I have 9 horses 2 mares I bought. 1 yearling born here 1 yearling rescue I saved from binging put down at 4 weeks old he was a fall foal his mother had been sold for slaughter. And 1 10 year old gelding. There pecking order is pretty much set. The oldest Mare is in control. I have been adopted by 4 wild/feral mustangs.I live in the mountains of New Mexico. Over the last two years these mustangs have jumped the fence (trying to get to my two mares) But! did not leave two brothers showed up a little over a year ago they were 2 and 3 at the time it took the 3 year old (Hank) about a month before he came up to me and nuzzled me he has never backed off since. It took the 2 year old Charlie about 9 months before he came to me. Then in may 2012 two more showed up. A 5year old stallion Diablo. 😛 With the two brothers little sister she was about 11/2 years old. This stallion was pure mean. All the horses stayed away from him. I had ran him off a couple of times he broke down the gate twice had to replace it. Called livestock inspector he said if it was dangerous to shoot it.( not likely ) but anyway he got in again I opened the gate to run him out was working pretty good till he turned and made a run at me ears layed flat bared teeth the works. I did not even have a tree to hide behind thought I would just try to jump out of the way when he got close. When out of no were came Hank the 3 year old and broadsided the stallion knocking him down. Then went after him like a wild man the stallion got up and jumped the fence and left. Ok that leads me to this the stallion came back a different horse he is the heard leader still unless I am down there then Hank the now 4 year old colt won’t let the other horses close to me. I keep my 5 horses in a different pasture now. I don’t close the gates to the mustang pasture they never leave. All of them will come when I whistle. But hank will always get between me and the other mustangs. He lets me do what ever I want to with him never even flinched first time I picked up his feet I think I could ride him now but have to wait tell someone comes up here I live alone and it is thirty miles to help. Not that brave yet.He thanks he is my guardian angle I guess. Last time my kids came up they said it was just weird he is like a guard dog he has to approve of other people even. Once I put my hand on them kinda like you were saying and he sees it they are ok then.
I am sure there are many things we will never understand about horses! We have one fellow who is very dominant with other horses but not humans so normally keep him apart from our elderly stallion who is no longer strong enough to defend himself properly. One day the two got together and the dominant chap attacked the stallion. Amazingly, our small young 3 year old, who is normally accepted by both of them, just kept pushing between them and rearing up until he broke up the fight. He is totally non-aggressive and very laid back, but despite his small size he was very brave and knew exactly what to do to resolve the situation. Let’s give these animals credit for sometimes knowing so much more than we do.
Wow, Keith! I am not too up on all of the psychology behind the horse, but it appears from what you are saying about Hank, that he has chosen you. I would not mind betting, if I were a betting person that you could do almost anything with Hank. From my perspective he has been watching you intently and even though you may not be aware, it is like you have been passing his tests with flying colours. The way in which he defended you at the right time was a great demonstration of his loyalty. Many a person would be honoured to have their horse show what you he has shown you in that precise moment. A clued up horse is Hank and I reckon you will have the best future together. He is real worthy of anything extra that you can put into him, in my opinion. He will become your number one and most memorable, I believe 😛
Keith
This may be hard for you – but the Authorities are right in suggesting you shoot Diablo Stallion.
Not only is he a danger to you and yours, but he is also breeding bad blood – which does not help the Mustang Program re willing horses to be trained for riding – not slaughtered.
Do you want his offspring killed because they have his bad blood?
PLEASE – for the sake of all Mustangs and their future – shoot him!
In Australia, we try to capture Brumbies. Most are Arab/Thoroughbred/Timor cross. and they are very good looking, and easy to train.
But if there is an aggressive stallion, similar to yours, we hunt and kill.
As our Brumbies are an Icon here, and there is a fight between National Forestry and Horse Lovers, we try to protect the Brumbies.
And they are wonderful horses to ride.
Bur – as I said – we shoot the aggressive Stallions, as they would, if allowed to breed aggressive foals, would diminish our fight to save the easily trained Brumby.
SHOOT HIM! If you want to save the Mustang!
@Kathy,
The mustang is a wild horse, and the horse, while wanting to build a herd with Keith’s mares, was only being a wild stallion, and thought he was protecting his new herd. I would think a warning shot would do the trick. There is a difference between a wild and a tame animal – a wild one has a different sense of danger and survival -aggression in some circumstances is needed for that survival. While it is concerning that he broke into Keith’s place to form his new herd, I still think shooting the horse should be what is tried last to solve the problem -not first.
I live in South Africa, I have been riding since I was about 10 but after getting married and moving to a farm in the Limpopo Province I stopped riding for a while, while having babies and raising kids. However as you all know once horses are in your blood they never leave. My daughter is 7 and loves horses and riding, I thus decided it is time to get a horse again so that we can ride together. In September 2014 I found two horses at one of the neighbours. We have severe African Horse sickness in the area and it is always better to get a horse from the area than to try to bring one in from another region. Although I am not a very big fan of mares I bought two mares, a 3 year old and a 8 year old. The 3 year old is a Welch pony Frisian cross (don’t ask)a piebald, she is about 13 hh and definitely the more dominant one of the two. The big mare is a 8 year old Boerperd mare, about 14.3 hh and often get chased away from food by the youngster. They came from a herd of about 11.
Recently the big mare came in in the afternoon with a nasty bite mark on her neck. The horse roam free during the day and come to a small paddock for feed and check-ups every afternoon. I was livid, thinking that the little mare bit her. However about two months after this happened the little mare came in with bite marks all over her sides and neck. I asked the staff if they knew what happened and they explained that they happened to be working on the road when they saw the zebra stallion attack the little mare. According to them he latched onto her neck and she was dragging him around kicking him all the time. Even when she got away from him he would chase her and bite her tail or sides. She kicked him so badly that he went down and rolled over. Eventually giving up.
Luckily she only have superficial bite marks, but I now believe that the bites on the big mare also came from him. I guess he was trying to get the mares to submit and become part of his herd. I have seen a Zorse (Zebra horse) before so I know that they can interbreed, however she did not want to submit.
The aggression and the attack of the Zebra however reminded me strongly of the Keith’s storey and I guess that this is what the Mustang was doing too.
I am worried to ride out with the mares on the farm now, since I am not sure if the Zebra will attack again and if he will be put off by me being on the horse.
I had a similar experience when I was walking into the paddock to catch my horse. We own about 19 horses. The herd leader charged at me with his ears back and his teeth bared. My horse, Snoopy, put himself between me and the leader and reared up. They both reared up at each other, Snoopy then took off at a run and the leader chased after him. It wasn’t until they were about 100metres away from me that Snoopy turned on his heels and lashed out at the leader. Both only had minor injuries afterwards.
Ever since that day, the herd leader has not charged at me.
Snoopy protected me in two ways – by putting himself in between me and the leader; and by making sure that the fight occurred a safe distance away from me.
Very interesting idea.
That is super helpful, will try it! 😀
That is really helpful, will try it! 😀 Thanks!
I also have found this to be true. I had an excellent relationship with my last horse. It is definitely worth the time and effort to learn your horse by his body language and the others in the herd as they reads yours as well.
I have been around horses all my life , but I learnt more reading this than i ever imagined was possible keith story was fantastic . I onetime heard a horse whiinning in a tall grass pasture . I looked around and found a unbroke horse all wrapped up in barb wire neck front and rear feet and all . yet with hardly any bad cuts . He had been trying to free himself for a longtime but just got more tangled up . I could tell he was very afraid and wanted my help . Latter I could ride that horse into anything . I road him into deep mud and got him stuck . He turn his head back to me and practiculy said now you get me out .
Eric
Lucky that horse!
Sometimes you have to be cruel tho! I was riding my horse along a lake shore, and we got stuck in Quicksand!
I got off and kicked/bashed and whacked the horse so he got out before he got sucked down (found out later 3 horses sunk to their death at that spot – didn’t know about it then!)
So sometimes have to be Cruel to be Kind!
Thank you Don this lesson on horsemanship was awesome and greatly appreciated. I have 2 geldings
that stay in a pasture with a neighbors barrel racing horse and I am thankful. 💡 🙂
i have grown up with horses i know a little of what i have seen my grand dad do over the year but the one mistake that he has dont was never to tell me why he does anythings. today i have a horse of my own its a 3 and half year old saddler an she was never backed when i got her an she came from an abused home when i saw her i just felt a connection. i have my work cut out for me with her.I did the chart in the horses whisperer book an to find out i have a very ANGRY horses. Your words have inspired me an im learning so much. And till looking for any help i can get.
If you are not in a hurry to ride her – take time out, and just groom (singing s favourite soft song helps) and lead her around, take her out to graze, sit with her and talk to her. This horse sounds like she has been very abused, and has a strong personality.
Please take the time to settle her down, before you try to ride her.
I was sent a Sale horse from friends – they had bought him with a Cert re High Class Showjumper. He had been drugged at the Sales, and when they got him home, they couldn’t do anything with him. So sent to me to keep. It took 3 yrs of careful handling, but in 3 yrs my daughter could ride him.
Again – a lot of on ground handling.
🙂 What wonderful insight I have received from reading peoples success and problem stories. I have a 9 year old Tenn Walker that I am just about ready to give up on but maybe some of your thoughts and ideas will help me keep him. Thanks Karen
Don’t give up on him! Picture it this way: You’re living in a nice home but none of the people there speak English. You try to understand them, they try to understand you. If you leave this home you would end up in another non-English home. And it could be worse, not as nice. Possibly death.
Ali gave you the dictionary to help your horse. But, YOU have to be the one to teach it or YOU have to be the one to learn. Either way, don’t give up. Just become bilingual. Keep trying, your horse will thank you.
I very much appreciate your interesting insights into the many experiences of the horse people on your website
I loved what you wrote and really realated to it coming back to horses after nearly 40 years of no riding following a horrible accident when I was a young teen. You have written in an inspirational way. Wonderful! 😀
Very interesting, would love to know what advice you have for me, I recently bought an 18month old that was born wild, went through traumatic seperation and bad handling. A very sweet natured filly until she gets insecure, she then squares up to me and has on several occasions reared at me. I send her back til she licks and chews and basically treat her as though I am mare and she foal. It is not advisable to turn your back on her as she will come up behind you and is obviously dominant, I seem to take big leaps forward but then something upsets her and we go back to square 1 for a couple of days. She is extremely intelligent and a very quck learner, not sure wether she is testing me to get control or wether it is all down to insecurity and if she is testing to see how hard I will come back at her. This swap between cuddly and lovable to dangerously dominant happens in a split second and is worse if you are in the field with her.
Dear Judith
Take control as alpha! Don’t let her crawl to you re licking etc. – be firm!
Once she knows she is not going to get away with it, she will conform. You are not being cruel when she comes up to you licking etc.
You are being the alpha and teaching her respect by sending her away, until she does what you want her to do.
Imho this little filly is not insecure,she is just finding her place in your herd of 2,she is being disrespectful and you are correct in behaving like the mare..Sadly,many people make the assumption that horses think things through like we do..this is not the case ..they live in the”now”and by making excuses for their behavior,we can only add to the problem..by keeping “cuddly and lovable” at arms length you will stay safe and also send clear messages on what is acceptable.Horses are full faculty learners from birth..treat her like a grown-up..she will soon become one!!
Thanks for that great tip. I have trouble with my mare wanting to lead me a lot of the time. I have made the mistake of walking around her.
My mare, Twilight, is the alpha mare, for sure. she has to eat first, she chases the other two away, takes a bite, then goes to another station. But the old race horse, Emily, is the leader. She is clearly thought of as the wise one and if she leaves the lawn to return to the corral, Twilight will surely follow. They both watch one another when they roll in the soft dirt, as if taking turns to guard for danger. They never both roll at the same time. Joey, the mini, hangs out with the old horse but he seems independent of them both. They don’t care where he is and he doesn’t care when they are. He runs away a lot. He can get out of a two inch opening. Any ideas about why a horse does that and what I can do to stop him short of penning him up which I don’t want to do. My horses live in a garden. I have no pasture.
I have a ? which is going to make me sound more stupid then I look. In your herd ranking, when encountering another horse in the field. Do you mean that you are mounted on your horse when approaching. I am unaware as to how you get the other horse to back up, often they turn or just ignore me before I could get them to back up. Suggestions?
Dear Terri.
Do you have to ride in a field with other horses? If not – then don’t!
If you do have to ride in a field with other horses, just concentrate on yours, it is good training on him and you – or go out on the road if he is safe. DONT scare the other horses – you may cause problems for their owners to deal with!
No, you’re not riding. In that situation you would be on the ground and walking. You’re trying to bring the horse in for something. And, honestly I don’t know what they mean either. But you can still learn from the tip and I suggest asking someone else at your barn so they can explain it face to face with you.
HMMM. I Was asked to get a horse out of a herd in a 50 acre paddock. Most of the horses there were friendly. I made much of them, and the shy horse was curious. I had no halter, casually took my bootlace off an put it round his neck, and led him to be tacked up!
I loved reading all the comments.
I am a 70 year old woman, starting to live a 30 year old dream.
My first introduction to horses was through reading “Black Beauty” when I was 7yrs old. It nearly broke my heart, realising how horses are victims of fate and thoughtless or ignorant humans.
I lived in Toxteth, Liverpool so the only opportunity I had to be near a horse was when the rag and bone man brought his pony and cart home for the night.
I would nearly die with happiness when he would allow mw to lead the pony into the lock up for the night.
My parents were working class people and my mother had to go out to work as an auxillary nurse to be able to pay for me to attend a convent school, so having a horse of my own was never an option.
When I was in my teens, I learnt to ride by going to a riding school, then stopped as I grew older.
When I was in my 30’s, and married, I started going to a riding school again but had to stop when I could no longer afford to keep it up.
From time to time, over the years, I daydreamed
about being able to ride once again, but It stayed just that: a daydream.
As I approached my 70th birthday, I became increasingly depressed at the thought of growing older.
I noticed an offer on the re furbished gymn “Total Fitness” in Liverpool; “NO JOINING FEE, 3 MONTHS MEMBERSHIP FOR £5 A MONTH”
I thought “I can’t stop getting older, but I sure as hell can stop progressively getting unfitter”, so I joined.
I do Pilates and Yoga 5 days a week.
Recently, Sue, one of the instructors happened to mention to me that she had a horse.
When I “picked myself from the ceiling” she said, seeing my awe, “You’d be very welcome to come to the yard and meet him”
I did and met Paddy, a 6 year old Piebald with a long, flowing mane and a beautiful nature.
Sue taught me how to groom Paddy and let me ride him around the school.
I have been visiting Paddy for a couple of weeks now; sue said that I could visit Paddy whenever I like and last Saturday, Sue was away for the day. She didn’t ask, or expect me to visit Paddy because she keeps him at livery and during this spell of sunny weather, he’s out in the large field with a few other horses.
I went to visit Paddy and Oh! the joy of putting a head collar on,(Paddy, not me!!!) leading him into the stable, grooming him, walking him around the school for 10 minutes, just talking to him, getting him to stop, back up, I was transported back through the years and was the little girl in a 70 year old body, living out my dream.
Love to all you horse lovers!! Never give away a dream, with God, ALL things asre possible!
Sylvie
XX
Hi I to can relate to Sylvie as my mum whos is now dead always said I wanted alittle horsey for chistmas when I was 5 this day dream has always been with me and now with a partner who understands I at the age of 74 am having lessons my instuctors are very pleased with my work ethics on horse back. and the pleasure that such a large animal can give so much understanding of a mans need to be with them not just riding but having an understanding about the caring. I don’t know at this stage if its the two polos and gentle pats and scratche’s to show of my gratitude, but itseems as if the eye contact between my self and Ben or Cesaur the two horses I have had the pleasure of riding says things that we both understand Mack
Sylvie, I am 65 and about to embarque on my horse dream thats to my daughter and son in law and a 10 acre farm they have bought. I dont know how it will turn out but I am going to buy my first horse. I rode some over the years but never cared for a horse, I just rode. My daughter and I will learn together. Yes, with God all things are possible. I am going to LOOK this gift horse in the mouth and go with it as many years as God gives me. More then I ever DREAMED I would have!!!!
Hi’ Syvie’ enjoyec your story so much. I will be seventy also in Feb. I also love horses and I do have a morgan stallion. He is not broke’ but he brings me pleasure just to be with him. His name is Regal and is the colt of my first morgan Sincerely. She passed away a couple of years ago. So Regal is so special. I would love to train him but IT fell and have a mild brain injury and the Dr.told me not to ride a horse again. So I enjoy just enjoying his beauty and care.
Gods beautiful gifted animals for sure!
Blessings, Reba JEAN
Xx
Understanding a horse is important and they are amazing beings.. When it does not want to be caught or come to you time to find out why. What is stopping an animals with such unconditional love from being caught. Is he sore, does his back, teeth whatever hurt. Sort out the problem the horse will come to you once he knows he is safe again.
Mary, I was just getting ready to say what you said in the last comment.
It is my experience that some horses are angry, depressed, even dangerous when they are in pain. Just recently I have been learning as much as I can about pain, trimming, and bodywork. I saved a 25-year-old from euthanasia at a shelter as no one wanted to take him because of a calcified leg and club foot. This led me to realize that I had some pain issues with my Belgian mare other than those we had diagnosed and also with my saddle bred gelding.
Horse psychology is so important, thanks, Don as are also pain issues IMHO.
hey Don, This is so true have been doing this for years I ride at liberty all the time its the best feeling and the closest bond you can get
I loved this … I have been riding for many many years, all types, all breeds, from BLM Mustangs to TNN Walkers. I too ride bareback and with just a halter. I find it is great to get “me” in touch with the horse. Jumps,trails, you name it – you can do bareback. I broke my back years ago, so this helps get me alined 🙂
I have never trained an Arabian 🙁 now I have a rescued filly .. she is 21/2 years old but the only thing they taught her was tag – not a game I like playing with 800 lbs chasing me down! So “no” games. I would love to try this with her, but there is no herd. Only one horse per pasture. I have tried all my old tricks to get her to acknowledge me as her leader. I run her until she is tired – then ask her to come, if she does I praise her if not back to running. This just doesn’t seem to be working as it has with other horses. It is 70-30% it wont work :(. She has “never” been taught to lead … this I am still working with (she crowds me)I have years to teach her … I am one of “those” that have no plans on mounting her until she is finished growing – 5 years of age. I have her taking saddle and even bridle with no problem at all.
So after all that – my question is: How would I get this girl to see me as her leader?
I loved the story … Thanks for sharing 🙂
Hi Tamara,
It sounds as though your training is largely based on Negitive or Aversive principes.( “If you don’t……..then I’ll make you run till you gasp for air” )
Have you thought about introducing Positive Reinforcements to your training? I have 3 horses, all very different, one a rescue -a very complex big horse who was “going to kill someone”, and another who is particularly intelligent mare, who sounds very like your Arab. I have found these techniques have made a HUGE difference to her attitude towards me and any training (including now under saddle) I choose to ask her to undertake.
She still sees me as her leader, this is NOT about bribery. I sometimes have to be firm, but I hold on to the principle of firm but fair. If my emotions are coming up – frustration etc – I give myself a time out. Although I have to say this is happening rarely now, she is challenging less and less, and looks forward to our play times! Sam 😀
When you lead her or at least try it is important when you take the halter off, that you don’t just let her run away. They hear the sound of the buckle jingle and then the halter falls away. It is important to unbuckle the halter and then hold closed with your hand for a minute. Scratch her neck and then drop the halter and with your hand push her away on the neck or shoulder. This tells her that you are the leader. She should stand there for you until you free her. I hope this helps. Good luck
Hi Tamara,
Look into Shawna Karrash – clicker training. It worked wonders with a rescued US Chaser x Hannoverian I bought who was on his way to the Knackers yard after being imported to the UK. He reared and struck out when you took his feed to him, wouldn’t lunge, wouldn’t walk on halter nothing but very very intelligent.
Clicker training was my saviour, he loved it, I loved teaching him correct behaviour and tricks at the same time. He was such a character, we quickly discovered you couldn’t wear toggles around him, he would sneakily catch hold of them and then pull them to the elastics limit and then let go, only he’d make sure he had your attention before he let go. I swear he used to laugh as he let it twang on your backside! He could bow, spin, knew his left from his right, would do almost a whole dressage test by command and clicker. Amazing, can’t recommend it enough, well worth looking into. 😀
your horse sounds like she has been led by the snap..hold the lead about 2 feet away..if she crowds you ,without turning to look at her, lift your right foot(like you are trying to slap your rear with it)twice ..if she doesn’t back away take a step back and repeat..she will yield. Don’t acknowledge her,walk forward..if she doesn’t follow walk off to the side..this will unstick her feet and she will follow.I use a simple exercise with my horses to remind them who I am..walk forward,stop(stamp your foot and flap elbows at first)turn in towards his neck 180 degrees and walk purposefully back swinging the lead,bending forward and looking at her rump..she should yeild her hind away..if she doesn’t..you are allowed to “tag”her with your rope..never pull on her head..do not look at her but continue to walk in that direction..very soon she will become respectful and attentive and will mirror your movements.I bought a 12 yo abused unbroken show arab who spent her life on her back legs boxing and who was so dangerous she was kept behind two gates instead of one.Today 3years on, she is happy and well balanced.Engage her curiosity..give her a ball..tarp,poles, platform..ask her to put her nose on things(even better do it with another horse in front of her and let her want it!)..dont try to lunge her into submission,unless you are doing a very technical “Join Up”, Arabs can run forever before they get tired!
Greatest advice ever! thank you so much. x
I had an old mare who was the leader of my other horses. She used to herd them into the barn and stand guard at the door on nights that she sensed the mountain lion(s) in this area were out. But she died the year before last. Now my other 3 seem to be lost. They don’t go to the barn. They stand by the hay feeder at night as the mountain lion circles them squalling at them. I went out with a flashlight one night when I heard this going on and was lucky enough that the flashlight scared off the big cat. So I am not sure that they even have a pecking order. The only time they go into the barn is in bad weather. And none of them stands guard like my old mare did.
thanks for your practical informations 😛
Valuable info – thank you. what is your apple cider vinegar / tea tree oil ratio?
I HAVE A 3 YRS OLD MARE, SHE IS SO SWEET COME TO ME WHEN CALL, BUT SHE IS PUSHSHY SHE WANT GIVE ANY SPACE
Another thing on catching them – when you turn them out, never encourage them to leave you – it’s much better if you hold something (halter or lead rope) on their neck until you are ready to release them, then you turn & walk away. It never gives them the idea that it is a good thing to move away from you. I’ve seen kids whack them with something to make them run away – bad idea.
I recently bought a horse under the impression it was broke. I met the young girl who owned the horse and her mother way out of town, where they kept the horse. When we arrive the young girl couldn’t catch her horse. The horse was running, bucking the charging. I walked out into the field and stood still and in a gentle voice called the horse. She immediately responded and I had no problem putting on a halter. The horse saw me as leader of the herd of humans. Now she is on my ranch, where she follows me around. I am working with a horse whisperer one of the best and in just a few days was able to bridle, saddle and walk my wild horse around the arena. Horses know if you are a leader…it is all about voice, confidence and body language. I have enjoyed this blog very much. Thank you all for sharing.
I have been around horses for forty years To get to know your horse try this this is what I do to mine .When I go to my horses I run my fingers down there neck and blow in there nosrils . Even when you have one that want go on a float try this it does work have a whip and just tap it on the off side rump it might take a while as I do transport horses.
Loved reading this, the only thing I would question is when leading your horse follows 3 steps behind you. He’s herding you 😉 I had a show horse who I trained and she wouldn’t lead properly to begin with, always ‘herding’ me from 3 steps behind, gradually she began to understand she received no reward for doing so [she loved to be scratched] she only received her reward when she walked with me at her shoulder. This is very useful when working with a less bold horse, if you can train them to walk with you at their shoulder you can walk them out in hand and you are in a position to encourage them and give them confidence as if you were in the saddle, you are in the same spot only on the ground, this has worked wonders with my new gelding who isn’t as brave as my mare was and now if he’s worried about anything all I have to do is scratch his shoulder and he relaxes and is much more confident! I don’t care what anybody says about walking your horse in hand, it’s invaluable to introduce them to new surroundings and teach them good manners when being led. If you watch a natural herd, the mares lead and the stallion herds from behind. Also if the horse is a few steps behind you and something spooks it he’s going to run into you, if he’s beside you and something spooks him he’s more likely to run around you.
This post helped me a lot when I got my two horses last month. One of them was Queen of the Arab Stud until she came to me for retirement. The other was an unwanted standardbred mare that had been given to the Queen’s stud for cross-breeding (which never happened). The Queen has always been top horse and it was no different when she arrived at my place with her subordinate Standy paddock mate.
I wanted to make myself Head of the Herd to show the Standy that she could trust me. Using the info in this post and some other stuff I read, I ‘pushed’ the Queen around a little (shoulder, hindquarters etc) and made her move for me whenever I entered the paddock. It worked!
Now they both see me as Head of the Herd and move for me as required in the paddock. While the Queen will boss the Standy from her food if I am not there, she won’t when I am. I can tell the Standy appreciates my protection and she is becoming more obedient and submissive to me every day. I have never used punishment on them, just body language that says “Me Boss!”.
Leothefox: Push back! Don’t move from your spot, push her back to where you want her. Every time you move instead of her, you are teaching her that SHE CAN MOVE YOU. You need to flip this on its head and make her move instead. Don’t let yourself get crowded in an unsafe spot, just stand in the paddock, wait for her to come, and if she gets pushy, push her back. Push her shoulder, her hindquarters, her chest. Make her move for you, not you for her. Practice this and she will learn that you are the boss.
Pushing = two hands, palms open, on the shoulder and give it enough force to make the horse move its feet. Do the same on the haunches, and the chest. Don’t hit, or cause anxiety in the horse with waving hands, just use your body as other horses do.
I think that to be boss of the herd, you have to be part of the herd, and that means adopting horse behaviour that they can understand.
We’ve been retraining an off the track racehorse. When she first arrived, she was quite, um… “Witch-y” acting, toward us, at times.. She was uncomfortable when we brushed her girth area and was on the back of her soles with worn down hooves. The best things we did with her were to put her out to pasture a couple of months, and just visit her often, and out her in during bad weather. Her ulcer/discomfort in girth area, solved itself by simple grazing and moving about more, we think. She was still pushy and crowded us but we began to catch her daily after her dinner, and just groom her, talk to her, pat her and give her a few carrots. Soon, she began trusting us much more, and became more willing to listen when asked to back off, etc. After weeks and weeks of this, we took her into the round pen, and began doing one or two or possibly three of the a me things, daily, until she completely mastered those, and then adding something new. We noticed she is VERY smart! VERY willing and you would be stupid to continue any lesson, if she has run out of interest. (We’ve all sat thru that too-long sermon/wedding/class, right?). She really wanted what most of them want: to eat GRASS and move around and to trust their person. It has been like flipping a switch in her. Now she is going along wonderfully as a jumper!
Wow! So many great comments about your experiences. I also have a dominant mare in a small herd of 3–all rescues from slaughter sales! Magic always comes running to me , well they all do–for scratches strokes, treats if I have them. She loves to be groomed and talked to. But from now on I shall back her gently a few steps before giving her the attention she wants because she does tend to crowd my space. My other 2 horses are very “polite”. Thanks for the insight!
Great comments , stories and experiences. My fiancé and I recently bought two thoroughbred mares (ex racers). My horse Mona is 7yrs old and LB is 4yrs old. It was a case of love at first sight when we saw them. Its the first time we own horses (some people would probably say, we are crazy…). I am no horse expert, but I talk to a lot of people that have horses and do a lot of research. When we brought them home things got a little bit exciting as there are two horses on the property already, a young 2yr old gelding and 3yr old mare, both are Nooitgedaght x Arabian. They have a large open veld (fenced)to graze and run in and just to be horses. Within a day matters got a bit calmer, as it would seem that the pecking order was established. We assume that the older TB has taken lead, 2nd was the younger TB mare, then the gelding and then last the third mare. They all respond well when called. First to come would be the older TB mare and the others come according to the pecking order. The dominance is made quite clear by the 2 TB mares towards the 2 youngsters (ears go flat and bite attempts). With us they are good, we can groom them, touch them and I am allowed to check their feet, so I believe they trust us. Walking them with the halters is sometimes a bit tricky as they would walk a bit and then stop and it takes a bit of talking and calling to get them to walk along again. Is this behavior a trust issue, race horse behavior or have we been placed lower in the pecking order?
Thank you with out realizing it I have been doing it with my mare and the other 4 wild horses are listening to me, I appreciate these info clips as it really helps me, but unfotyunately here in South Africa we struggel to get the bitless brittle.
Hi Liezel,
Where in SA are you? one can find the bitless bridle in Dee’s in Johannesburg near Fourways if you are in Gauteng. I’m in Mpumalanga. Good luck.
🙂 Thank you so much! S.C.
I really enjoy all your articles. The tips and stories from other horse owners is very helpful. I look forward to receiving each one.
This is one of the most useful piece of information I have received about the whole leadership thing with the horse. Thank you. And thank you form making it so short! This is great.
How can you establish leadership with your horse in a way that builds trust?
Establishing leadership with your horse is about consistency, calm confidence, and clear cues. Horses naturally look for a leader, so standing tall, using confident body language, and following through with gentle groundwork exercises, like leading and stopping, helps them see you as a trustworthy guide. Over time, they’ll relax and respond better, making your bond stronger and riding more enjoyable!