I got this in from Lara on understanding horse behavior and just had to publish – it’s a wonderful example of just how smart horses really are.
Here’s what Lara wrote:
“When I say a horse can read your mind and your body language, I really do mean that.
Often the horse knows what you are thinking before you do, because he can ‘feel’ it.
A fine example of this was when I was riding a horse for the first time and knew nothing about her.
We were passing our home and my thoughts turned from riding to “Oh look, there’s our little cottage.”
Well if she didn’t suddenly just stop, right outside the gate for no obvious reason other than my thought. I grinned at her intelligence and just thought I had better turn my mind back to the riding.
Horses do pick up on your emotions and recognise your body language, so think about all of those things before you approach your horse.
Understanding horse behavior:
You don’t necessarily want to communicate to your horse the type of day that you may have had – and most importantly remember to always keep smiling: the horse recognises the energy of a smile as it does the energy of fear or anger.
And when you train, accept that sometimes things go in leaps and bounds and sometimes things go backwards.
If things go backwards, it is normal. Just go back to doing the things before you tried the new stuff, give it a bit of time and then try again again.
Always remember horses are an honest, steadfast, reliable and loyal breed. But first there is one fundamental thing we need to gain from the horse: trust. It doesn’t come overnight, it is something learnt, earned and built upon over many years.
What’s more, when it comes to understanding horse behavior, if you watch a herd it is not just about alpha males or females. It is also about how they greet each other, respect and trust one another, look after one another, work as a team, alert one another to danger, groom each other and generally look out for each other.
There is also the passive leader, which in most cases is the one horses choose to follow. There is no bullying or aggression – they are just chosen. And that is what you want to be to your horse, the passive leader, chosen by your horse.
Lara”
A big thanks to Lara for this one on understanding horse behavior – every time I read something of hers I learn something.
That’s all this time – don’t forget there are hundreds of more posts like this on the blog, but the only way you can see them all is to jump on the newsletter.
And now onto Helen.
“Understanding horse behavior can feel like learning a new language, but it’s actually pretty fun once you get the hang of it! Horses are super expressive animals, and they’re constantly communicating with us and each other, even if we don’t always realize it. They talk through their body language, like the position of their ears, tail swishes, and even little things like their stance or how they look at you.”
“Take ears, for example. A horse with its ears pricked forward is curious and alert—maybe they’ve noticed something interesting. If their ears are pinned flat, it’s a clear “back off!” sign that they’re feeling annoyed or threatened. And if one ear is forward while the other is turned back, they’re probably paying attention to both you and something in the distance—multitasking at its finest!”
“Horses also have a strong herd instinct. They feel safe in groups, so when we work with them, they’re looking to us as part of that “herd.” If they see you as a calm, steady leader, they’re more likely to relax and follow your cues. But if they sense tension or inconsistency, they can get jumpy or confused. Horses pick up on energy, so staying calm and consistent is key to building trust.”
“And then there’s “spooking”—that sudden jump or startle when they see something unfamiliar. Horses are prey animals, so it’s natural for them to be cautious, especially around strange sights or sounds. If your horse spooks, it’s just their instinct kicking in, not a personal quirk!”
“Getting to know these little cues makes bonding with a horse much easier. Once you start reading their signals, you’ll notice they’re constantly telling you how they feel. Understanding their behavior is like unlocking a new level of communication—one that leads to a stronger, more trusting partnership. Helen”
Next up
nice..
Hello, This is very true. Cindy, my mare who arrived 3 months ago followed the Alfa female (Bella) but now is in paddock next to each other. My Cindy will check up to make sure that she is there but then will walk by my side around the paddock. We have been able to establish this trust in such a short amount of time. I feel so Very lucky.
Cheers Tina
When a relationship is developed with your horse it is one that should be cherished.
When I go to the paddock to get my horse he walks to the gate to greet me. Wherever I walk he is behind me. When I ride him he goes where I look. He lifts his feet for me without me asking because he knows I want to clean his feet. When I want him to halt, I slightly change my weight on him and it is an instant stop. I do not use a halter on him, he follows me from the paddock to the tack up area when I want to saddle him.
The only punishment he gets if he happens to go wrong, is me telling him off, but it hurts me to do it. He gives me the same respect that I give him. He is my partner, my best friend, I love him and he gives me 10 times that love in return.
There are no bad horses, only bad people making them go wrong. Horses are the most incredibly intelligent, faithful and proud animal on earth.
How wise you are to appreciate the importance of what you have. I had a similar relationship with my horse and it is the greatest feeling ever. So many ‘so called’ horse people prefer to be a master rather than a friend to their horse; so sad!
This is a response to Ray. It was such a pleasure to read about your particular relationship with your horse. Where I have my horse there are no men riding at all never mind someone who is as conscious of the human-horse bond. And also so respecting of the NATURE of the horse that you transfer that understanding into your actions and relationship together. I have absolutely nothing against men at all but it just made me feel so happy that you expressed your bond and understanding.
thank you for your sharing and your words. Your last sentence say it all!!!! 😀
Ray, I have just read your letter of enjoyment of your horse.
and the trust and fellowship you have with him.
I too have found a horse I dearly love and trust and she of me also apparently, being completely green to the point of being rank when I got her, she Now follows me, walks with me, “Comes in” when asked or clicked at.
and the truly strange part is that the previous owner a well experienced horseman (a genuine cowboy ) claimed she was crazy as well as mean, but I have found her to be afraid of men him in particular, she has gentled to me and we do several hours of ground work a day.
all I have done is to be gentle, talk all the time, and brush,curry, blade her.
the past owner when he gave her to me was ready to put a bullet into her, I believe that his hollering, Glaring, and loud diesel truck dragging her when she would escape, very nearly ruined her.
I am having her round pen work done by a pro, to get her to a point I can mount her safely,
as I have cancer, bad heart, and am winding down my days.
It is touching to read of another person who has the same feeling and relationship with his horse.
Sugar and I start with her new saddle and Some pasture work as soon as the kids and wife feel safe, and will let all of you know how we progress.
let us hope we get to enjoy those last days as a team.
All of this so true. Whilst a great deal of this applies to what can be accomplished when riding and/or training a horse…there is nothing better for developing a relationship with a horse than what I call ‘casual interaction’. This can be when one is poo-picking or anything that involves moving amongst your ‘herd’/with your horse. It also provides an wonderful opportunity to reinforce manners almost subliminally and engage in liberty work…I agree whole heartedly with Ray (above) but would also like to add (to the list of attributes) that horses are extremely gentle creatures and respond to the lightest of touches….
I could write a book on this! Like the horse that loves to gallop on the beach but suddenly won’t go down to the beach. Further inspection reveals a problem with the girth which is about to break.
Like the horse who loved to run but who wouldn’t do more than a trot. When forced into a canter a buckle broke on his bridle. No, I personally don’t ride with tack in poor condition, but there have been times when I have ridden beach horses where the tack wasn’t in good condition.
Or the horse who developed a sore under the girth miles from home… I rode him home without a girth, even cantering at times, and he behaved immaculately…
Horses just take care of you if you have gained their trust.
I recently tried bareback riding and found it very hard. i fell off at a trot and got back on, but i still keep sliding and slipping around. i tried to relax but i just cant keep my butt on the horse! any tips? thanks
Don’t give up on it. I used to go out all day bare back;and saddles and parafernalia just get in the way. I’d use a bridle doing road work, but off road nothing, just my voice and body. It makes for a much stronger relationship.
Tense up your thighs to help keep you from sliding sideways. Then relax if you are staying centered. Hang on to the mane with 1 hand and rein with the other. If your horse only drive reins then cross your reins so you can easily switch hands on the reins and mane quickly. You can try rocking forward and backward with the horses movement, pivoting at your waist.
When I ride a trot, I find myself tensing my thighs (with inward pressure) as I come back down on the horses back to keep me from hitting hard. This also helps to line me up to be centered every time I come down. Watch the horses head so you can tell what the horse is getting ready to do so you know which way to lean. Lately I’ve mostly been riding gaited horses. They are much easier to ride because you don’t come up off their back. Horse and rider are more like one unit. Plus it’s much more comfortable.
Happy Trails !!!
I’ve always found the trot to be an uncomfortable gait, especially bareback. A lope can be like you are floating on air.
You got it.
Hey horse people- I have been reading this site (love it) for about 2 months now and also have taken in “The Soul of a Horse” and presently reading “Zen Mind Zen Horse” but still don’t know how to initially get my new TWH to trust me enough or get the “bond” with him we all talk about to get a halter on him and lead him into the round pen to strengthen that bond or do the Join Up thing so we can eventually start training.He came to me emaciated so I have put at least 75 lbs on him and now he’s in fair condition and much healthier but will only let me brush and touch him when he’s eye-deep in his feed bucket. He promptly turns (wheels) away when he’s finished and I’m history until tomorrow when it’s feeding time again. He’s in pasture with my 2 other horses a quarab mare and my alpha mustang gelding whom I’ve had for 20 years and will follow me everywhere. I’m definately getting an education from my reading and observance of my herd’s behavior but still not clear on how to get the halter on him without ruining the small bit of trust he has with me so far. He won’t come up to me in the pasture altho he watches me and is relaxed when I am out there. Yes, I have purchased Lara’s ebook too, and am having various epiphanies about how to train him, but how do I get started while keeping the chi level and not going backwards? I have also had lots of advice from horse people I know but this first step is still puzzling me… any suggestions to add to this vast school of knowledge for me? Thanks in advance from Moon.
I had a similar problem with my ill treated mare it took a lot of patience on my part to only touch her on her terms at first. She had been beaten starved and was due to go for slaughter when I had her. I just spent time in her stable not saying anything just talking about anything and everything. I used to hold her feed bucket every feed and gently scratch her until I found her favourite spot. As she became more familiar with me so our relationship began to form. We still have a very long way to go. When she sees me she calls to me but on occasions she reverts to threats but does not follow them through as she did initially. You have to move along at her speed some horses are quicker than others but be patient it will be worth it in the end.
Talking about passive leader.. My horse is fine following the other horse he barns with while riding but when we full out run all he wants is to get in the lead, pinning his ears back and not responding to me pulling back. He has been at his new home for 5 wks and seems to be the more dominant. He is a 12 y/o quarter gelding and the other horse the same but 8 yrs old. I’ve only owned him this long as well. He’s very well trained and another thing is I can’t get him to go out riding alone… It’s frustrating. Any suggestions/advise? Thanks
I love that because I’m going on pony camp and my horse gallops towards the jump and then dodges it ❗ but thanks 😛
I have a wonderful relationship with my mare. She is pregnant and the vet is worried that she only listens to me, not to others. He suggested a professional trainer in case she has trouble with the birth. He is afraid she won’t let him near her. He is a very good vet. Gentle and loving. So the other day a new ferrier came to the garden and did all of the horses. She was so good with them that I asked if she would come once a week and spend a bit of time with Twilight until her baby was born. She did a bit of “training” on the spot. She put a bridle on Twilight and moved her back and forward, side ways, head down, etc. Twilight listened and did it for about 15 min. Then she had enough. She made a snap at the ferrier..not to connect. But to say, “enough already”. The ferrier poked her with her finger and told her “don’t you do that.” in a very firm voice. Twilight stopped dead and just stared at me. Clearly, she said, “Did you see that?” I didn’t stop the ferrier. The “training” continued for another ten minutes and then she took off the bridle and Twilight ran to the far end of the corral. When I came down a few hours later to give her an apple and tell her what a good girl she was, she would not come to me. She would not look at me. She turned her back and gave me the cold shoulder. She was so mad at me. Or disappointed that I would let someone treat her like that. Does anyone have any recommendations. Am I doing the right thing letting someone else train her. I usually let Twilight do what she wants. She is such a sweet horse. She follows me like a dear friend. No bridle. Nothing. But I do want her to let people help her if she needs it. I appreciate any advise from folks who have horses before. I haven’t. I am a relative newbie. Thanks so much. Carolyn from Hyla Gardens.
It is important that others can work with your horse. What if your horse was seriously injured and made the injury worse by fighting the vet? Are you going to learn the art and science of trimming/shoeing so that you can care for you horses feet? Are you willing to never leave for a vacation or family gathering because no one else can care for the horse? What if you are injured or sick and need help with your animals? Your horse will be healthier, happier, and more confident with help from other people. You love your horse and want what is best for the animal. Your horse is blessed to have you. Do the hard stuff and teach your horse that others are ok.
Probably more than just ESP, but the fact that he could recognize your smell on the gate or cottage. He knew the cottage was associated to you by your particular smell. I’m not saying a bad odor. I’m sure you smell fine.
Can anyone help me, I have taken on a lovely horse
that one else wanted as he has a habit of bucking when going into canter, he was broken at 2 and half, sold by a dealer to a novice rider and past on from then, until I got him in November.
He is great in traffic and is good in all other ways, I love him to bits but had a bad accident on him last week which was no fault of his, I lost control and landed hard on the road.
Now unable to ride for six weeks at least and worried that I will come off again, has anyone got any tips for staying on a horse when he bucks as he gives no warning, I feel that its caused by him not knowing how to change into canter or just plain excitement. PLEASE HELP I do not want this poor horse past on yet again, its not fair on him as he is lovely apart from his bucks.
Janet
Use a saddle that fits both you and the horse. This will help you stay on and buffer your bouncing on the horses back. Get some videos on riding and watch the canter. There is a pattern to the footfall of the canter and transition to canter. You can learn to feel it and can help your horse have a balanced transition. Asking the horse to shift weight to his hind end helps the horse make the transition smooth and makes it hard for the horse to buck. Horses have to shift their weight to the front end to effectively buck. Check out a riding school and take some lessons to learn to feel what the horses legs are doing under you. Your horse will love you for it. Don’t pass this horse to someone else with his poor training. He will just be abused and confused more. Train him and you. He may turn into the best horse you could ever want.
Donna,
Find a good piece of leather with a buckle on it and hook it to your saddle horn.This will help you stay on when your horse starts to buck. While you are ruding find a grassy area and make the horse start to cander. Hold on to the strap so that you won’t fall off and pull your reign to you hip and hold it. If the horses body is bent he can’t buck. Once he realizes that you are still on him back and he has to continue on he will settle down. Be sure that every time youchange gaits, hold on and ride him out. I hope this helps.
Janet,
Do you round pen or turn your horse out before riding? He may have penned up energy.
What are you feeding him? Too much alfalfa or sweet grain can give him more energy.
He may have learned that he can dismount his rider by his bucking behavior.
Has he been checked by a vet or farrier to determine if their may be hoof problems, or some other condition that may be causing him discomfort.
Is your tack fitted properly?
If none of these things are the problem, definitely find a good reliable trainer than is compassionate and understands the psycology of a horse that can work with you both in a safe environment. Your horse may just need more training and you will also benefit from lessons as this will give you more confidence and better understanding of how a horse thinks and responds to you.
I wish you the best. Be patient and stay safe. Always wear a helmet and vest.
Yours truly,
Catherine
That story rings so many truths with me, my relationship with my lovely mare is just blosoming after a few months of her being very unsure of people, after moving home becaues of a break in. She is now confident and cheeky again, after lots of work and time being spent with her.
D x
My 6 y/o Paint, Magic, knows way more than I ever expected. I’ve had him for about 4 months. When I acquired him he had not been ridden for nearly a year, he was a pasture ornament but well taken care of, vet/farrier/, but a little on the chubby side. I board him at my sister’s barn, I go out everyday and take care of him. He just surprises me sometimes. Just for fun I got out some “trail class” practice items. I started laying down the railroad ties, 36″ apart, before I had them all down, he started walking over them. He has had no formal show training, never been shown. He will pick up the rubber cones and carry them to where I have began stacking them. He’s such an awesome boy and makes my day with his little “surprises”. Horses are waaaaay more intelligent than a lot of people give them credit for. And the most loyal and loving friend you could ever have.
My mare died last October after having a 22 1/2 year friendship with her, but she was given to me when I turned 7 by my mom and with no hesitation I jumped on and we went everywhere together, I could as a little girl lay next to her, sit under her basically do anything with her. She was honestly my best friend and never once in our long relationship ever tried to buck, kick or bite me! From the beginning we had bonded. And now I own her daughter and it is the same bond. She follows me everywhere and yells out at me when she sees me from the way back pasture. It is amazing how horses are able to become a persons best friend!
I heartily agree!
Carolyn… IF your horse has labor problems she will be more open to help anyway. I’m concerned something put her off in the “training” perhaps too much too fast breaking trust? My very aloof mare, two months only in my barn when she went into a bad collic, melted when she knew she needed help. She’s also deaf which I believe adds to her lack of trust with less ease of communication. she was a four year that would have gone to ASPCA if we hadn’t come along at the right time.. She had even kicked at me in the stall, but with time she’s now learning a sign language trick show routine we put on for kids with hearing loss. When she was nipping and girthy I’d have her swing around to find I had grain ready for her as I tightened the girth– amazing how fast girthy can turn around! I like plain pellets as sugar and very tasty treats make horses too fresh sometimes, or greedy. It took time, and sometimes I fed her entire meal one handful at a time.
Donna, that’s my advice for your shy one.. Hand feed, then hold off the grain in your hand until the horse holds his nose to your hand to get it. You are starting trick training, but really just starting the horse learning interacting is rewarding. Then they can learn to follow the hand, kiss in the chin, around the body for a hug, you build gradually. Why feed out of a bucket when you can feed by hand? Or start that way depending upon how much they eat.
I’m new to this forum, but thank you all for some great posts!
I can’t agree more! A week ago Saturday I brought home a 2 yr old purebred Egyption Arabian gelding. We are still bonding but he learns fast. Originally he wouldn’t let me touch his rear end or legs but by Monday he was letting me brush his rear and pick his feet up to clean them. This morning he sensed I wasn’t feeling good (bad cough). He picked his feet up without me asking, and laid his head on my shoulder before turning him out to pasture. Horses are incredibly sensitive to their surroundings. I am so blessed to be a part of his life! They are a wonderful teacher if we take the time to listen.
AWESOME!!! Horses are such wonderful animals!!
After being away from horses for 25 years, we just bought a mare who I have a lot of one on one time with at home in the barn. When she goes to the arena, its a different treatment, she is there to have fun and work.
I was told by a man that I was babying my horse. She gets my time in the barn with a lot of grooming and sometimes just talking, so if Mr macho man thinks thats babying, then I am ok with that.
There is nothing wrong with babying your horse as long as that does not include rude/bad behavior from the horse. Same goes for raising kids. Spoiling them is only bad when they learn to be rude and disrespectful. Love your horses and let them know what manners are expected from them. They love to please when they are taught how to do that.
I love this site because not only is there great wisdom but also very practical advice (and descriptions of things I have experienced). I am 56 and have a TWH who is spooky and has dumped me a few times, which at my age is painful. Anyway, I realize that I am more comfortable with horses just hanging out with them, grooming, talking, cleaning out their stall and pasture, etc. But in the saddle, I must get a bit nervous, because the relationship changes for both of us. I am not a bad rider, just a fearful one! I love my horse and will stick with him but he has turned more into a companion than a riding partner. Interesting journey this!
😀 well i have a few horses and they all trust me. I bought a new horse recently and we get on fantastically. He talks to me every time he sees me and of course i talk to him too. He is a very gentle horse to ride for a stallion.
I find your comments a breath of fresh air. I have a wonderful Alpha mare. She is smart and sensitive. Since I have had her I have had many people try to how to relate to her. Their advice was more focused on control than relating to her and learning read her. I have a different vision. I spend at least part of my time with her just being. I let her graze finding out how she is that day and deciding from their what we do. If I or I is not emotional ready to ride I do ground work or just hang out with her. While I love riding, I am just as happy to just be with my horse letting her be her. I believe that besides working her or riding this is just as important in building respect that is two way. Thanks for the comments.
I would say not too much sugar and starch b.c it is not good for horses who do not assimilate it properly and may develop laminitis. Prevention can save many foot problems. I love the ‘relationship’ point in every story. This is so true!
Hi Lara
You are one smart cookie,you give really good advice. Thanks I love reading your blog.
regards Jenny
This is so true. Since I moved my horses (2) form a stables out to our property I am now the new leader and I love it that my horses chose me. It is all together different than a stables environment. There they choose eachother. This has helped gentle my gelding (9 yrs. old)
I appreciate all of these tips each and everyday!!!! Thank you so much!
They are so helpful and insightful!!!!
I am fairly new to this site but just wanted to thank everyone for their insights and comments. I recently adopted a 21 year old Trakehner and he is my best friend. I never knew I could bond so deeply with an animal although I own a pet sitting business and I have loved animals all my life. Nicholai has become such a part of me I smile just thinking about him and it makes my day when I go visit with him everyday. I never thought I would own a horse. He just came into my life unexpectedly and now I couldn’t imagine my life with out him. I always look forward to the advice that all of you leave thank you very much !!
Thanks for sharing your wisdom. I am still learning about horses and can not get enough.My dad used to say a horse and a dog are your best friends in life. The last time he left our farm just before his heart attack I heard him talking to our dog, greeting him for the last time. He knew he was not coming back to the farm. I was crying…. 14 yrs old at that time.
Thank you so very much for such words if wisdom.
I love reading your advice it makes my day just to read storeys that’s so inspirational. I am about to buy my first horse. He’s a seven year old thorough bred cross gelding which has been in captivity for the last six weeks. He’s being broken as we write and he’s doing really well. For the last few weeks I’ve been grooming and talking to him, at first he wouldn’t let me touch his rear end but after spending time with him just one on one time after work for a few hours each day you can see that something magical is happening. I’m working on this farm at the weekend’s and holidays, or vacation. Once he’s been broken and trained the owner of the farm will be selling him to me, but untill that time I get involved in his training and development as much as I can. I’m like a child at Christmas.
PS great site keep up the good work people x
I have one just like that! Its so bad (good for me) hat he stud gets mad at her for giving me more attention then him!! No worries she’s the dominate horse in the herd and lets him know she will not put up w any crap from him either! 😛
How can I better understand my horse’s behavior and what they’re trying to communicate?
Horses communicate mostly through body language! Pay attention to things like their ears, tail, and stance. For example, pricked ears mean they’re alert and curious, while pinned ears are a “back off” warning. Horses are herd animals, so they’ll look to you as a leader—staying calm and consistent helps them feel safe and confident. And remember, if they spook, it’s just instinct! Learning these cues helps you connect with your horse on a deeper level, building trust and a stronger bond.