Julie’s been in touch with a question on how to regain confidence afer falling off a horse:
“Hi Al
Not sure if you’ll get this email but I’d like to ask your advice please.
I used to ride horses lots but I was in it for the thrill and I had no knowledge or understanding of the horse I rode.
I never had lessons, I just knew that I wanted to be on the back of a horse. I was fearless and invincible – or so I thought.
Every horse I rode, bolted. This should have been a warning but I persisted! Finally, I was given my ‘due’ by an ex racehorse who decided that I was reckless and deserved a good kick in the shins. When this happened, I was mounted and although I saw his manoeuvre, I was too slow to respond.
How to regain confidence afer falling off a horse
A severely broken leg later, I was now very afraid of horses although I still loved to be in their company.
Twenty years have now passed since the accident and I have come to love and respect the horse and I seek a deeper understanding. During this time I was lucky enough to work at an activities centre for children and the site had a herd of sixty horses and ponies. I became a Trek Leader but the fear persisted and the passion remained. Horse back riding needed to change for me and I became aware of the animal and of the cruelness of the ‘bit’.
My heart as a Trek Leader was lacking and the herd often stampeded because of the squeal of pigs, so I decided to spend much of my free time, which was mostly after 10pm, just sitting in their fields with the hope of discovering something about them and myself.
I was beautifully shocked at their acceptance of me when they grazed between my crossed legs and two lay down beside me. This is a beauty I will a carry in my heart forever. There was no animosity or pecking order whatsoever, just companionship.
How to regain confidence afer falling off a horse
After that, life moved on and whilst my yearning to be with horses remained, my life took me in a different direction.
I now have a 9 year old daughter who is nuts about horses, strange but true! She’s well informed about the ‘bit’ and the cruelty of ‘breaking in’ but still loves being around horses.
She’s started lessons. I guess I’m hoping that she’ll be better informed and safer than I was. She’s fine with the lesson but prefers to be hugging her favourite horse.
Each of her lessons, I’ve watched, and my heart yearns to be back in the saddle (or bare back, preferably) so I booked myself a lesson.
How to regain confidence afer falling off a horse
I found the lesson really hard in terms of fitness but also I was given a notorious ‘head tosser’ which was hard work but my heart ached to reach out to my mount and I wanted to spend time bonding with her – I had a few minutes to do this once I dismounted and she was beautifully curious to my game playing.
I’m really sorry this is so long but I need to ask the advice of somebody who knows. I didn’t enjoy my lesson and I’m not sure if it’s due to being unfit or fear or just needing more than a sterile hour learning to ride a horse in a way that goes against my heart.
Many thanks
Julie”
I got lots of emails like this – but Julie paints such a touching picture of how she feels, I thought I’d publish it. So if you can help with how to regain confidence after falling off a horse, please do leave a comment below.
Julie’s post also reminded me off this one:
Best
There is a saying, don’t know who said it, but humans do not live long enough to learn how to ride.
My children grew up with horses – they had lessons every week – they hunted when they were 8 – still had lessons every week until they were 21 & into other things.
I teach young children to ride. they are different from my children because they come only once a week. It takes nearly 10 times as long for them to learn things. My point is, riding, be it western or English is an art. One cannot just jump on and go without abusing the horse – some horses accept abuse – others don’t and bolting would be an understandable reaction.
I have also taught people over 60 to ride. It’s not too late for you if you want to learn, but YOU have to take lessons as well as your daughter from a reputable establishment
Many thanks Judi – I will persevere with lessons and I feel hopeful now
Hi Julie, I somewhat understand what you are saying, I also understand if you don’t consider what I’m saying seeing as I’m only 15 but as of your lesson, I think it’s a combination of all three: not being in shape, fear and not having more than an hour. I have as well experienced this feeling after I fell and got a concussion. I didn’t want to get back on and it had been a few weeks seeing as I didn’t want to go to the barn and didn’t. When I got back and did a lesson I miserable and was jittery the entire time. Then I figured out this is what I loved and couldn’t live without so I did a lesson every day I possibly could and I got in shape and made the fear creep out of me as quickly as it creeped in. I hope you have luck with your rideing and that your daughter enjoys it as well because it is the best feeling in the world. 😀
Bless you, thanks Stephanie! Your age is unimportant to me; you still have your own experience and wisdom to call on.
I’m going to persevere with riding lessons now although it will only be once a week because of expense.
At some point in the future, I hope to feel the euphoria that you feel.
Many thanks again x
I can relate and I will give you some background and then tell you what worked for me. First, I rode a bit in my teens and then again in my 40’s. Lessons taught me the basics of riding but I knew I lacked the “feel” of a horse. And I was never a “confident” rider.
In my 40’s, we bought some acreage in the country and I got my own horse. He was a gaited horse who was too fast for me and spooked easily. He bolted with me several times and scared me. The final time I fell off him, it hurt my back and I didn’t ride for about a year. My horse and I were mismatched and I ended up giving him to a much more horse savvy friend. So my first piece of advice is to find the right horse.
Then Robin, a 22 year old quarter horse gelding, entered my life. He was given to me by a friend who had to give up riding because of her health. Robin hadn’t been ridden in a while and he was rusty and I was scared. I got on him and my legs would shake.
I considered keeping him as a friend and groom him, hang out with him, etc. But then a horsewoman needed a place to keep her horse and she offered training (for me and my horse) as compensation.
Thus began my journey back into the saddle. We started on the ground with lunging and desensitizing. I rode my friend’s very well trained horse to get my confidence back. Then we worked on balance in the saddle, walking around cones, walking around the pasture, etc. Now I am getting him used to a collected trot and with the proper training, I am much more relaxed and in control. My trainer can see when I am making mistakes in my commands and behaviors. She also reinforces all the good things – my horse’s willingness to learn and his desire to please me. This describes my second recommendation; get a trainer and start with the basics.
There is no substitute for a good foundation for you and your horse. I have come to believe that the relationship you build with your horse relies on that foundation, as well as your safety and your horse’s well being.
Thanks Caroline. I’m glad it’s working out for you and Robin now. I’ll take your words with me next time I ride and they will give me confidence and inspiration x
Julie, find a good instructor who believes in starting all riders on the longe. You will build confidence and develop an independent seat before you attempt controling the horse yourself. School horses need to be School Masters, maybe a little stiff from arthritis because of their age, but, without vice. Check the instructor’s credentials and watch her or him ride if still riding or see if there are any videos available. Don’t take lessons from someone that doesn’t impress you with their own riding ability and horsemanship.
Thanks Ray. The place we go seems friendly enough and they have mounted Archers. Haven’t seen them ride for myself yet though so I’ll go on a different day to view.
many thanks
You need to think about your horsemanship from the ground up. The foundation you build with a horse starts on the ground. He learns to respect you and trust you there. You do basic ground maneuvers, disengage the hip being the most important to teach the horse to respond to this cue when he panics and you need to maintain a level of safe control. Backing a horse up is another basic on the ground maneuver he moves his feet you do not move yours. The horse understands that you are the leader with this simple move make sure you keep both eyes as he will want to give you only one when you do this. You can have a lot of fun on the ground working with the horse. Use a training stick to teach pressure and release. If the horse does not understand and respond to a good feel from the ground you should not get on his back he is not ready to be ridden.
Thanks Dan. That sounds like very good advice
Hey Julie
I totally understand where you are coming from. I teach many riders like yourself. If you have a love of horses even age, being out of shape and injury doesn’t take that love away. I would seek out an instructor that has a full knowledge of natural horsemanship so you can learn more about the horse, how they think, the proper way to interact with them and also how to learn to ride again. The most important thing about riding is being in balance with your horse and that takes time, physical fitness and practice. That is all you need to accomplish your goal, to be back in the saddle without fear. Best to you in your endeavors…and DON”T give up:-)
Bless you, thank you Jami. I’m feeling so inspired by such informative replies. You’ve all help me to stick with it and I’m now looking forward to my next lesson.
Many thanks again
Hi
For you know, if you play with fire soon or later you will be burned, or, if you play with water soon or later you will be wet, the same with horses, you play with horses soon or later you will be kicked.
Remember, we know what was yesterday, what is now, but we don’t know what is in next 5 minutes.
First, start to control your fear, then learn to read the horse (understand horse behaviors, — the horse.com ; The trail rider magazine, The Practical Horseman , Equus magazines)
When you fill you become conserned about something, take a big breath and relax yourself
The more. Relaxed you are among horses the more relaxed the horses are, the same when you ride.
If you know the horse that you ride, make time and become friend (partner). And any thing the horse do wrong don’t blame the horse, BUT blame you self.
For you, I was in late 50s when I started to ride, my first horse I had in 2011 May, a TW, she kicked me two times, she was afraid of humans, in general men, and today she is my best friend. I never took a lesson, but I learned my self through books, videos, and magazines.
May this will help you.
Thank you Emil – sounds like a lovely bond
Yes, that must be lovely bond. The more the horse trust you the more the horse take care of you.
The secret are treats and scratches. Find the itch spot. Take the horse
out to graze beside you, and all the time after you put the halter or bridle give him a treat, the same after the work is done.
That is my secret with every horse in general those abused and thromatised.
I rode horses from the age of 6 to 30 when my children arrived. Big gap from horses untill a couple of years ago when both my daughter and her daughter started riding. Now I sit on the sideline and long to be riding again. I have osteoperosis and am really afraid of falling off, bones break easily these days, I am 67. The other problem is that I was taught to ride with knees on, now people are taught so differently, I need an oldfashioned horse. Big problem !! but I just love horses, and spend as much time as possible with our new family of 3 horses.
Go. Life is short. 67 years Big problem lung cancer, osteoporosis plus 2 fractured vertebrae’s. Haven’t ridden for 30 years. But with courage I went for 1hr ride in the hills of the Peak District. Two trots and walking with five others. Great. go for it.
It’s a love that never goes away. I hope you find that big old fashioned horse!
Many thanks
Hi Julie,
It sounds like you have been subjected to what I see a lot of – people taking for granted the sensitivity a horse has to our own body language and energy. I can see you have a great sense of observation and a love and appreciation for the horse! Horses will sense that too, if you don’t let your fears overcome that deep caring I can see you have.
Many common bits are not cruel – it’s the hands that touch the precious mouth that can be cruel. A rider should never learn their balance with the reins; you need to learn to feel the movement of the horse in a very quiet, controlled way and just TRUST in the horse, and TRUST in your self. Trust in a qualified, caring instructor that is not only sensitive to your fears and needs, but also intuitive about the body language of the horse, and can help teach you to see the signs they give.
I always teach the movement of a horse by first establishing an understanding of the movement of the horse’s legs underneath you. Before you walk, do you know what the rhythm and footfall of the legs are? Left hind, left front, right hind, right front, in a four-beat rhythm. If you can find someone to lunge you – even bareback if that’s what you prefer, but you are likely safer and kinder to the horse’s back if you learn this with a good fitting saddle and then transition to bareback. Then just put your hands behind you on the top of the horse’s hips and close your eyes and just FEEL the movement of the walk. Let that relax you. Think of how you would describe the walk, and it’s gentle swaying comfort to your daughter, or anyone else. Describe the sensation and how your body moves naturally with the horse. You should sit lightly, holding your core and stretching up, so as to balance your weight and allow the horse to carry you, but take ownership of your weight – don’t sit like a sack of potatoes up there. Tall but relaxed, so you are kind to the horse, and sensitive to the motion.
When you are ready, do the same in trot – it might be months down the road. Only when you are totally comfortable and only when you understand the trot is a two beat gait that has the horse’s legs moving in diagonal pairs. Watch horses trot in the field and see they move their left front with their right hind, and their right front with their left hind. Only trot a few steps at a time.
I’m going to be direct – if every horse you sat on bolted, you were tense and set those horses off. You need to come in with a sense of peace and calm, even if you’re scared. Horses mirror us in their behaviour. If you are tense, worried and panicked, they’ll get tense, worried and panicked. If you are on a head tossing horse, it only gets worse if you are balancing any of your body weight in the reins… you didn’t create the head tossing if it is a habit, but it’s not the bit’s fault. It’s the hands of the riders that have been on that horse.
I suggest some breathing exercises to find relaxation through your fear and to be able to replicate that while you are on the horse. As someone that ran a riding school for a number of years, the same horse will be completely different for different riders.
I hope that helps. I have an ebook, and more information coming out. The ebook on Amazon is on horsemanship, but there is a new one I’m just finishing on Understanding Horses. If you’d like more detail…
Best of luck – YOU CAN Do IT! You’ll have an amazing journey in personal development while you do! And yes, I agree with Stephanie – it is an incredible feeling when it’s relaxing and harmonious! Nothing better in the world!
Thank you Jennifer. I’ll start with feeling the movement as you suggest and I’ll be more aware of the horse I’m with. I don’t want to go blindly this time. Will look up your ebook too. Many thanks x
I am a natural horsemanship trainer. I also teach people how to work with their horses and teach people how to ride. I am very passionate about my horses and ha e dedicated over 33 years learning how to master my craft. I agree that no one will ever master riding or horses because horses will have a mind of their own and people are always changing. I broke my back in three different places, not from a horse, and have struggled with the fear of riding. I finally, just a few months ago was running a barrel horse and the saddle slid. I hit the ground harder than i ever had with my head catching the ground first. I am not inexperienced with horse injuries. I have broken most of my bones and have had several concussions. But if you are around horses, you have to accept you are going to get hurt. All you can do is to be as safe as possible. As for me, the barrel racers are now going to have to deal with me wearing a helmet and not a cowboy hat. And my back, well- i survived. Us horse people have to sayings and one is “Buck up” and the other is ” Cowgirl up”. Confidence is what you need to build up. You havent gotten hurt again. All riders struggle with confidence. Its human. I have faith you will find a way if you want it bad enough. Otherwise, there are mini horses that can allow you to have a horse and they can pull a cart. Good luck.
I just love that saying, ‘cowgirl up’ and it will be a mantra for me in times of need.
Thank you so much
Wow, this story was like i was reading about me.
It is amazing how the passion survives and never leaves ur insides.
When i walk up to ahorse and dig my nose into their neck there is no better perfume on the planet.
Nobody but a horselover could ever get that… It is the most euphoric feeling that fills every cell of your body with a renewed gift.
These animals are the most majestic beautiful creatures on earth.
I,m 55 now and got myself a little cowhorse and taking lessons from scratch and of course my goal is to work a cow. Either working cowhorse or cutting.
I hope that many other lucky horse lovers get my story!!!
Thanks carrie x
Like someone just said. Riding is an art. It takes balance, timing, understanding and soft hands. You also have to have the will to learn and teach. To achieve this does not happen overnight. It takes time lots of time. I suggest that you one find an older horse that has a lot of miles. Let the horse be your teacher to begin with. Then spend some time every day with the horse. You can ride some days, and do ground work other days. But work at it each day. If you do this, you will find that you will develop to read your horse and also develop the needed confidence to ride and learn the many actions of the horse.
Thanks Ted, will do my best to do as you suggest
I have three horses, two of which are wonderful, one is a retired racehorse. The racehorse threw me and I didn’t ride him for two years after that, although I did walk him with a rope. He’s not mean, just used to running fast with those long legs of his. I continued to ride the more calm horses which doesn’t mean I never got hurt. However, a wise person once told me, “If you ride, it’s not IF you’re going to get hurt, it’s WHEN.” I accept that I might get hurt any time I get in the saddle, but the unrest in my soul when I don’t ride is far worse than a few broken ribs. Horses are wonderful creatures; don’t give up.
Bless you, thanks Betty
I jumped from my horse who wouldn’t stop. I landed poorly and broke my humerus badly. This was two years ago. I too have been very nervous. Time has healed. He was 4 and a nervous Nellie. ~I kept the horse and continue to work with him. He is improving, but I need more time before I will ride him regularly. My best advice would be to find someone’s horse who is very laid back and responds only to a halter (for your beliefs) you will be amazed at how your confidence will restore and your heart will again soar with joy.
I hope so and can’t wait !!
Many thanks
Hi Julie, it seems to me that both you and your daughter realise that riding is not the only way to interact with horses, nor is it always the most satisfying. If I were you I would try to find a local instructor who will be able to teach you both all aspects of horsemanship, including working with horses from the ground, maybe someone who practices ‘natural horsemanship’? This would give your the opportunity to develop your trust, skills and fitness. It would also enable your daughter to begin her own journey with confidence, respectful communication and understanding of these amazing creatures.
Sounds like great advice. Thanks Gill
Yes Gill, I agree with you 100%, and with every comment that I read till now.
In you tube are a series of videos made by SCEA with Scott Downs training a rescued filly Fancy, that helped me a lot, and I recomand it to everyone, then is the site of Larry Trocha, he train cawhorses and reining.
There is a wonderful book called Move Closer Stay Longer: Don’t let fear keep you from getting what you want, doing what you want, and going where you want to go by Dr. Stephanie Burns. This will help LOTS as I too has a fall that shook my confidence. I highly recommend it.
Thanks Linda – will look it up for sure!
Hi julie ive been taking private lessens with an amazing trainer after years
of not riding I started going twice a week after spending time with my yearling
bonding with the horses really helped before I got back in the saddle don’t
be put off by one lesson find a private trainer it’s far more rewarding good luck
Thanks Ally
I would start by getting in shape with taking an exercise class or just do an hour of floor exercise per day or so. Then I would start by taking a lesson with my child at a beginner level. Don’t forget to fill your instructor in on your past experiences. A good instructor will give you the right mount and work you accordingly. Just my thoughts.
Thank you Justine. I told the Instructor what had happened before my first lesson and I was given the ‘head tosser’ But she was a solid skewbald and at the end, the Instructor told me that I did really well because the horse was known to be a difficult ride; my hands were so sore and the tip of one finger stayed numb for days. But hey, it’s all experience. Wish I’d had an easier ride but now that I’m re-learning everything, I’ll need all the experience I can get. Many thanks x
I no exactly where your coming from, I rode very little when young and got back in the saddle in my late 30s, I did my nvq 1 and half of 2 then had a riding accident when a horse fell on me I was very lucky bt 2week later I had another when a horse knocked me over and stood on my calf. my confidence went totally out the window,i began slowly by helping a friend with her horses all id do is muck outand poo pick then I decided to have lessons again bt u need to find a good instructor who will listen to wots happened and put you on the right horse, if you realy want it it will come good in end, ive now got my own horse but its still an on going battle with the nerves and I have good lessons on schooled horses and mine. persevere and you will conqer the fear x
I am 62 and I use to ride at 14-22 years old. I thought I was a wiz. No fear. I recently started to ride again only this time I realized I wasn’t as smart as I thought I was. My love of horses never stopped. I read lots of books on how to understand the horse,and ridding techniques. I am having the time of my life. If you want to ride again then don’t give up. There is no special way to get going again. Try to ride the same horse for each lesson so you can maybe bond. Your fear can be felt by the horse. Horses are not normally mean. They do have a pecking order and humans can be part of that order. If you can afford lots of lessons soon you will be over your fear. Best to you.
Julie
We humans are in such a rush that we think a couple of minutes is enough to establish the trust and rapport needed to work calmly with a horse. The problem with the lesson is that we just do not get the time to establish the relationship necessary to get comfortable with a horse and the horse with us so your reactions and feelings are normal. Only time with an animal will allow the relationship to build otherwise you are treating the horse like a motor bike get on kick it into life etc.
So you have to work with in the limitations of the lesson and set about building your confidence back slowly doing no more than ground work or when mounted walking and getting comfortable with the horse again. Good luck and as Mark Twain said “the outside of a horse is good for the inside of man”.
Hi Julie, just to add to all the encouraging comments, I’m now 57, came back to horse riding at 50, and It has re-ignited the passion I have always had for horses. Who knows where this comes from? I don’t, but I do know that just being in the company of horses is help for my soul. Like you, I’ve had a couple of bad falls and struggled with confidence for ages, but a great instructor has got me back my mojo, I think you do just have to work through it. Take care and release the inner Cowgirl!
I have two simple thoughts and a lot of support for your mission.
Keep the reins slack. only apply a bit of pressure once the horse does what you ask let the pressure off the rein at once.
Get a tie down or do not let the head tossing bother you.
In my experience it has been too much pressure on the mouth or attitude that causes the head tossing. Best, Anne
What a beautiful story. I love the responses and the encouragement too. I relate to this story. I would like to add something. When we interact with horses we are training them. Whether on the ground or in the saddle. Something that I have found so satisfying is the fact when I understand the training, I feel as though I am communicating – no matter what I am doing. This as well as understanding more about natural horse behaviour makes the interactions really meaningful.
Basically lets all remember that – we are not horse riders. We are horse trainers. So the more we learn about the psychology of horse training, the better we are for our horses.
With love. Best of luck to you. And all of us.
Hi Julie, I did not read all the responses, so may be repeating what others have said. I loved the way you talk about your interaction with horses. I had always loved horses as a child but never was able to own one until I was 45. I have had that same love so many people express. Slowly but surely with lessons I have become an intermediate rider, trail riding mostly. Three years ago the saddle slipped and I fell hard. And then I fell when the snow gave way on a mountain and hurt myself pretty badly. Then last October I had to have liver surgery for a cyst. The reason that I am telling this is: I lost all my confidence in my body, and that translated in confidence in riding. So I think you may want to really work on feeling good about your body, getting in shape as you call it, and that will help with the riding. After I healed I promised myself that I would not be led by fear anymore. This last Saturday I went on a lovely 2 hour ride in the National Forest. See it as a worthwhile journey that will get you to your heart’s desire. We are all learning and hopefully will learn the rest of our lives, right along with our horses.
I know where you are coming from I have fallen of a bolting horse and a bareback one! I was scared to get back on but I knew I had to . If you still have a passion for horses then don’t give that dream up. I agree with everyone else that you just need to take lessons. It took my months to trust my horses again I don’t know if you have a stable near you or someone who is willing to help you get back on. But if you still have a passion then don’t let it go that is my advice!
I bought my first horse 2 1/2 years ago. I am now 63!
This is the best thing I have ever done for myself. I have the best horse and he knows what to do, I am the one that needed lessons which I have been putting off as I figured I knew how to ride. I was seriously wrong. I had an accident about 3 months ago and ended up hurting my back. I was not riding my horse. She did a 180 and I ended up on the ground. I was weary about getting on a horse, even mine. So I decided it was finally time to take lessons. This is my 2nd month of training 1 time a week. My fear is gone and my horse and I are finally connecting the way I have always imagined and wanted to with a horse. I love my guy and he will be with me forever. Good luck and do take lessons. Ask around about the trainers in your area and see who would be the best for you and your horse. Take lessons on your own horse if you have one. I ride western and trail ride. No fancy shows or anything like that! Have fun and enjoy! 😛 My only regret is not doing this earlier in my life!
Maybe,you should consider giving up riding and rather do something therapeutic with horses like TTouch. You obviously have a love of horses but not necessarily riding which may not be a bad thing once you accept the idea.
Hi Julie,
I have loved and rode horses most of my life,
and first thing is to understand that they are a
prey animal so then tend to act that way and we are the predator. I was buck off 2yrs ago because
wanting to ride and enjoy life as usual my horse however does not like being in arena with people
looking upon him so me not listening to him cause me to break my back. After the accident found out when I was hospitalized my horse was breaking gates and would not come to anyone he was very wild, I had him since a foal raised him broke him myself and did not even think my not being there would have an affect such as that he was mad at everything and was taking it out on everything,
when I arrived home from the hospital I gave my whistle and his head high he came charging up, me
standing barely, saying please don’t run me over please don’t run me over, he stopped amazingly 2 feet in front of me came over put his head over my shoulder pulled me into his neck and gently squeezed me with his head. I was so happy to see him and said I love you buddy and it was not your fault. When I turned to walk away he pulled me gently again as to say I love you too. Had no more issues with gates, lol.Horses are the most amazing creatures and the most for giving all at the same time patience and understanding I rode him a week later and he took it so easy with me,
He was 10 years old AQHA Quarter Horse 99% Foundation bred I Love all my horses Hang in there Julie it will happen when the time is right for you, and you will know when you fall in love with that special horse
I’m 44 and only had my beautiful horse Jessie for 4 years. I have loved horses my whole life and decided after a severe car accident at 39 that life is too short to not do the things you love deeply. My horse helped me heal and give me courage. Still at this age we think so differently than children. We over think everything so that fear creeps into our head. I completely get what you are going through and honestly the only thing that will make it better is riding. Take your hour lessons but more importantly ride! Sit on your horse if nothing else, in the saddle or bareback. Even if it’s only a few minutes a day. Work her, be with her as much as you can. It’s when you distance yourself from her the fear comes back. Just do what you love:)
Julie,
There is a horse out there for you. The lesson horse is sour, and the trainer shouldn’t have given you that mount. Finding a horse that you can enjoy is a journey. Even one that is dead broke will have quirks, the idea is to find one that has minimal quirks. Don’t give up, find a horse you and your daughter can enjoy together. Lessons are good for the basics but horsemanship experiences at a barn where kids learn other stuff is better. Maybe volunteering at a therapy barn where horses are better temperament would work for you and your daughter. OR, have someone you trust find a suitable horse for you to lease.
thanks to all the comments it’s very insightful
Hi Julie,
I agree with Susan W. above. No horse wants to toss its head. All behaviors need to be researched. This is a good way to learn about horses. Is this horse tired of his job, doesn’t want a bit, has tooth problems, something in his mouth, bothered by insects,ill fitting bridle, behavior related to illness, high worm load, lyme, etc. All horses are different and they like different things, horses, other animals and people just like we do. After ruling out physical/emotional causes think about does this horse want to do what you are asking ?
The majority of behavior issues with horses come from people trying to fit them into the mold of what they want to “use ” them for. Take some time to go to different horse activity events. Every type of discipline has its way of doing things. You will be able to spot the horses that don’t fit in.
You can see it in their eyes. Many push button horses love being that way and move around happily. Others are that way because they have just given up after years of being forced into submission. I have had horses I have trained myself that actually would come up to me with eyes begging to be ridden.
Walking over and nuzzling tack. One horse I did not train but was “used” a lot before I got her only participated for me. It was not fun for her. She would have preferred to never be ridden again. So I took her on carefree halter and bareback rides most of the time and she seemed to say “well, that wasn’t so bad”. I didn’t make her trot around a ring or go to shows (where she was clearly fearful) anymore. People need to avoid taking riding lessons until they have taken care of a horse for at least two months. And then learn groundwork as the intro to riding. There is so much to it all. It would also weed out the people that just want to wear fancy clothes and sit on fancy tack.
I come down somewhere between natural horsemanship and haute ecole. Just being with horses is so wonderful and when you are on the ground you can look in their eyes all of the time !
Hi Julie,
I’ve tried to read most of the posts . The advice from Jennifer and Sara are most like the way I teach my students. Everyone learns every day from their horse. I feel its an ongoig process.
I’d like to give to you a few points to start with.
you have to get control of your fears, anxeity, nervousness. you transmit this to the animal as soon as they see you. Dogs, horses, cats, wild animals- they read you.body language, scent, etc it all tells a story.
you need to start on the ground-stand and stroke the horse, talk to the horse, hand graze your horse-all this leads to an understanding between the horse and his rider.you must relax and also realize this will take time.time-patience, and love – these things will tell your horse he means something to you. it took me almost a year to get cheyene to really bond to me-not as his master, but as his partner. I must tell you-cheyene is a proud cut Morgan with lots of attitude. I’ve had him for 14years and we are still learning things.
He is also the herd boss -I come 2nd in the pecking order-none of the other horses will challenge me.
he only rides for me-he will let anyone sit on him. I can lead anyone around on him- but if I’m not in the ring he doesn’t move.
You need to try and get in some shape-legs and arm
strength are a plus. it will give you some confidence to control the situation.
i had a woman student who was terrified of horses , yet she loved them.She rode a ” bomb proof horse” starting at a 10 minute walk on him with me holdiog the lead line. this gradually increased to 1/2 hour walk after a month. you see this was what she needed to gain some confidence.
Julie, don’t let anything discourage you-it will come. I worked with this woman one on one for over a year-she will walk and trot on her own-I’m very proud of her. she now lives out West-shes very happy and confident again.
I wish you the best of luck-you will succeed!
Hi Julie, I’m also a “late starter” with horse riding. I’m 54 and have been riding for 1.5 years now. Also started because I couldn’t bear to just watch my daughter having lessons, even though I’d walk around the stables and talk to all the horses. I started my lessons (also very nervous to be on the back of such a big animal) and am now jumping 65cms. My trainer and I have become very close because even on days when I don’t ride I still go up to the stables and visit with the horses. I ride one horse all the time and he’s the most gentle gelding. He seems to know when he has a 3 year old or me on his back, compared to having a more forward going teenager, and he seems to compensate for us. I will get his grooming kit out and give him a good brush down and clean his hooves, or take him for a walk down to the grassy paddock area and just sit and watch him graze, or pet and talk to him. The kids at the stables used to laugh at me because when I first started riding him we’d get to the mounting block and as soon as I was going to mount he’d turn his bum out and face me. I’d go back down the stairs and walk him around and back to the mounting block. We’d do that as many times as it took till I was on his back and we’d have our lesson. Now when he occasionally tries that with me I just have to say in a gruff voice “NO, you know I’ve got a whole hour to spend doing this” and he steps closer in to the mounting block. I’m sure he now thinks it’s our own special little game that we need to play before our ride. Anyway, moral of the story is that because of the fact that my trainer allows me to spend the time just being with him it has given me more confidence. All the best, and stick with it 🙂
Seems you have a good sense of what path you want to take with horses. Find a trainer who fits that and I bet you’ll be where you want to be in no time!
Julie-like so many others I have been injured, too. 2 Back surguries, ACL and 2 other ligaments of my Right knee, Broken Right wrist etc etc. Ride! It’s in us to love horses and we can’t explain why- it’s like breathing to us. Just ride! Brush, graze, walk on a lead yes but we both know nothing will satisfy the craving to ride except riding! Get a calm older horse, cut down on the risks by being mindful of where and when you ride.Don’t ride on a windy day-he’s liable to be jumpy-don’t ride in an area where alot of animals are liable to jump out in front of you. See? I can’t really afford to hit the ground again- I’m 59 and still need to work fulltime-but you can have many many confidence-building rides at a walk and jogtrot once in awhile-the worse thing that can happen is you’ll break a bone! So what! It breaks your heart everytime you chicken out and don’t ride! Ride girl, and smile and cry and thank that horse everytime he brings you back home safe. Love you! Kate