How to Bond With Your Horse: A Guide to Becoming Your Horse’s Favorite Human (or At Least Top Five)
So, you got yourself a horse. Congratulations! You now own a 1,000-pound toddler with trust issues, the eating habits of a vacuum, and an occasional desire to launch you into orbit. But don’t worry—bonding with your horse is totally possible, even if, right now, they look at you like you owe them money.
Step 1: Accept That This Is a Relationship, Not a Dictatorship
Horses are not motorcycles. You don’t just hop on, rev the engine, and speed off into the sunset. They have opinions, emotions, and an uncanny ability to make you feel like a rejected contestant on a reality dating show.
The first rule of bonding with your horse? Respect. Your horse doesn’t care if you read three books on equine psychology or watched a documentary narrated by David Attenborough. They care about how you act around them. So approach with patience, listen to their cues, and accept that trust is earned, not demanded.
Step 2: Spend Quality Time Together (That Doesn’t Involve a Saddle)
Would you bond with someone who only shows up to make you work out? No? Well, neither would your horse. If the only time you interact is when you’re tacking up for a ride, you’re basically the gym instructor they didn’t sign up for.
Try these non-riding activities to show your horse you’re more than just a taskmaster:
- Hand-grazing: Let them eat while you hang out. It’s the horse equivalent of grabbing coffee with a friend.
- Grooming: Brushing isn’t just for looking fancy; it’s a spa day. Horses groom each other as a sign of affection, so return the favor.
- Groundwork: Teach them to lead well, stop, back up, and do other polite horse things. It’s like relationship counseling, but with less crying and more carrots.
Step 3: How to bond with your new horse? Speak Their Language (Without Neighing, Please)
You ever have a conversation where the other person clearly isn’t picking up what you’re putting down? That’s what it’s like for a horse when people don’t read their body language.
Horses communicate with subtle cues, so pay attention. A swishing tail, pinned ears, or a head toss all mean something. Likewise, a soft eye, relaxed ears, and a horse that seeks your presence? That’s their way of saying, “Hey, you’re kinda cool.”
Step 4: Be the Human They Want to Hang Out With
Horses, like people, have preferences. Some humans are great to be around, while others give off that “I talk about nothing but my ex” energy. You want to be the fun, chill, reliable friend.
Ways to NOT be annoying to your horse:
- Don’t be unpredictable. Horses like consistency.
- Don’t use aggressive or erratic body language.
- Don’t demand things they don’t understand and then get frustrated when they don’t comply.
Instead, show up calm, confident, and clear. If you become someone they associate with safety and good vibes, they’ll be more likely to bond with you.
Step 5: Food Is Love (But Not a Bribe)
Let’s be honest: food is the universal language of friendship. But there’s a difference between building a bond with treats and straight-up bribery.
Horses are basically enormous foodies. A well-timed carrot or peppermint can reinforce good behavior and make them associate you with pleasant things. Just don’t turn into a human vending machine, or you’ll end up with a pushy horse that treats your pockets like an all-you-can-eat buffet.
Step 6: Don’t Be a Control Freak (Even If You Really Want To)
Some people try to bond with their horse the same way a micromanaging boss tries to “bond” with employees—by hovering, over-correcting, and making every moment feel like a performance review.
Horses don’t like control freaks. They like leaders. And leaders are calm, fair, and consistent—not helicopter parents who panic every time their horse looks at something sideways.
Give your horse space. Let them make choices. Reward good decisions. This isn’t a dictatorship; it’s a partnership.
Step 7: How to bond with your new horse? Play (Yes, Really)
Horses aren’t just majestic creatures from fantasy novels; they’re also gigantic goofballs. If you really want to bond, find ways to have fun together.
Try:
- Liberty work (teaching them to follow you freely)
- Obstacle courses (because watching a horse process a pool noodle is hilarious)
- Tricks (teaching them to bow or give a “hug” is great for bonding)
- Riding games (like tag or bareback balance challenges)
The more positive, engaging experiences you share, the stronger your bond will be.
Step 8: Trust Goes Both Ways
A horse that trusts you will follow you through fire (or at least through a mildly scary puddle). But trust isn’t a one-way street. You also need to trust them.
This means:
- Believing they’re not always about to spook at imaginary ghosts.
- Letting them navigate obstacles without assuming they’ll fail.
- Understanding that sometimes, they actually know best (yes, really).
Step 9: Be Patient (Like, Really Patient)
Bonding with a horse isn’t an overnight process. Some horses warm up quickly, while others take months to decide you’re worthy of their presence. That’s okay. The best relationships take time.
Celebrate small wins. The first time they choose to walk up to you in the pasture? Huge. The first time they rest their head on your shoulder? Bigger than any trophy. The first time they don’t immediately ditch you after a ride? Peak achievement.
Final Thoughts: Make Every Interaction Count
At the end of the day, bonding with your horse isn’t about fancy techniques or forcing a connection. It’s about being someone they enjoy spending time with. Whether you’re brushing, playing, or just standing together in the field, every interaction is an opportunity to build trust.
And if all else fails? Just remember: carrots.
Hope this hopes with your horsey adventure – please do leave a comment below and share your thoughts!
Best
Al